the new buco salad

THE X FACTOR EXPERIENCE

2012-01-25T01:37:00.000+08:00

Many are called but few are chosen. Parang ganun din sa isang contest, sa libo- libong mga taong nag-aaudition sa isang contest, kaunti lang ang pinagpapala, minsan dumarating , nagiging mas masaklap pa ang mga pangyayari at isa lang ang nagwawagi. Matira ang matibay ika nga nila.

Hindi na rin ako bago sa pakikilahok sa mga patimpalak. May mga ilan na akong sinamahan noong nasa elementary palang ako. Noong hayskul, meron din pero noong kolehiyo hindi na ako sumama at nakuntento nalang ako sa glee club at sa paminsan-minsang raket ng banda naming hindi pa sumisikat pero nalaos na kaagad.

Hindi ninyo naitatanong, una ko talagang mahal ang pagkanta. Pangalawa nalang siguro ang pagsusulat. Eto iyong outlet ko noon ng bata pa ako kahit ngayon nagkaisip na ako, eto ba iyong tinatawag kong perslab. Nalaman ko nalang kasi na may talent ako sa pagsusulat noong hayskul na ako. Hindi ko naman eto inaasahan . Nagpasa kami ng essay noon para sa isang subject at presto iyon nap ala iyong qualifying round para makapasok sa school publication. Doon ako nagsimulang magsulat, doon ako unang nabinyagan sa panitikan.

Maiba tayo, noong isang araw aksidente akong napasama sa isang patimpalak sa pagkanta. Hindi ko inaasahan na mapapalaban ako ng biglaan. I was there unequipped but still headed to the battle.

Isang gabi nagteks ang isang kaibigan ng isang balita. Nagaaaya na manood ng audition ng isang patimpalak telebisyon. Ako naman dahil inip na sa bahay at buro na dahil hindi nakakalabas ng matagal ng panahon ay umayon sa kanyang ideya. Kinabukasan, nagkita kami sa isang lugar kong saan gaganapin ang kontes. Wala sa sariling nakipila kami at kumuha ng audition numbers para makapasok sa loob ng lugar.

Alam mo ba iyong X- FACTOR? Oo, iyon nga. Doon kami tutungo. Manonood, mambuburaot sa mga kontesero at konteserang pangarap na maging bituin..someday..somewhere..somehow..inihaw. Pagdating sa loob ng bulwagan, bumulaga samin ang mga kababayang Pangasinense who’s believing that they have what it takes, ang “IT “ factor na hinahanap ng mga talent scouts kuno.

May aaaminin ako. Wag kang maingay ha, pero ang totoo niyan deep within my broken heart (hahaha) gusto ko ding sumama sa kontes. Iyon nga lang naunahan ako ng hiya dahil halos lahat ng mga nandoon ay kakilala ko na. May iba nakasama ko sa glee noong college ako, iyong iba kasama ko naman sa church choir dati at iyong iba, kapitbahay ko lang. Pakyeme lang ako ..pero wag ka pilitin mo ako at hehehe sasama ako.

Maarte kasi ako, hihihi. Ayaw ko naman kasing maging desperado sa mata ng publiko at ika nga ni Toni G. “….ng Philippines and the whole world.” Ayaw kong maging trying hard pero sa totoo lang matagal ko ng pangarap ang maging singer(songer LOL). Sabi ko naman sa inyo di ba , “singing is my perlab!”

Dahil dinaga na nga ang inyong lingkod, sinabihan ko na ang kaibigan ko na umalis muna at maglakad lakad upang magpatay ng oras. Hapon na ng kami ay bumalik sa lugar upang makiusyoso nang biglang inatake ako at sinapian ng ispirito ni Deeva( tama ba ang spelling? Zenki at ang kuko ni Deeva????!!)

And then another chapter unfolds and I became a fighter….street fighter.

Susunod….

May kasunod..

Abangan

Joining the Music Battle

2012-01-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

I was busy rehearsing for a battle of a band contest for the past week. It was a rush performance as my band mates said, to me it was suicide.

Practicing songs for the contest was not really an easy job especially that the event was few days away. Four days to be exact prior the music battle. It was tough to lead again a group which was basically a mixed of different people. Three original members (that includes me) and two new add-ons to share their own musicality and was expected to be united as one for three days was difficult to handle.

The musicality of a band or a group and how they will they jive with each other develop through rigorous performances and practice. What do you expect from mash up of five that just given 3-4 days to collaborate. Ahahaha, yeah I know,the situation is killing me.

So well, another obstacle was that I was not singing for years already except karaoke and videoke (hahaha). Second, the line up were really new to me. I don’t rap and one song requires me to do that. Comes the night of the performance, we did well. I led the band and we have performed great( I assumed) I knew I did not fail to give our best shot with all the hindrances that we’ve endured and encountered days before the music battle.. We have triumphed in conquering the stage and be applauded by the expectators.

Blurry, it seems at first but we have the choice to make or break it. We weren’t expecting to win that night what matters most to us is to enjoy the performance and savor each moment and break free. The reason why we have entered the battle of the bands was to performed together again after years of being disbanded and to relive the good old glory days before since one us will leave the country.

We never won that night but we never left empty handed because of the good memories we bagged as we went home.

Loube on Rhythms

Lem and Daryl: Lead and Bass

Kim and Chris: Chris plays the drum


The stage to be conquered and owned

After performance kulitan photos

Gaga over 2012

2012-01-03T21:07:00.001+08:00

Well, its 2012 already and the days are really flying fast. Last year was a bumpy ride of frustrations, love mishaps and work stress. They were also good times such as attending the Saranggola Blog Awards for the first time, and reconciliation among my lost friends and others.

Happy new year everyone! i wanted to start my year right. I can't really believe that this blog and you, my dear followers and readers to stand along with me during my tough times; a big thank you for that madam and sir.

New year means new plans equals new hope. There's something about new year that gives us something to look forward too. No matter how sad or hopeless are situation last year; the arrival of a new day gives us the power to hope, to wait for something good. I can sense a new vibe of hope in me. To put this post more personal, I am planning to go back to the city this January. Hopefully, my plans will push through. I am looking for a job now for I have resigned before in my last work. Do you know any vacancies? I will really appreciate it if you know some; positions like medical representative or office based jobs will do. I am also thinking of practicing my profession again as a nurse. Its been years since i last wore my white duty uniform hahaha I kind of miss it. So if you know some vacancies so that I can practice, I am very much available to hear the good news hahaha.

There is so much to say, got into a lot of troubles last year i wanted less of that for this year. I wanted to give good vibes this 2012 and to the coming years, by hardwork and real effort of perseverance i hope this year will be great for me, and also for you guys. God bless us.

2011-12-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

May this NEW YEAR be a song of

THANKSGIVING, an offering of PRAISE, a

celebration of GOD’S LOVE in HIS Amazing

GRACE! A blessed & joyous New Year to you

and your family!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

-RICO DE BUCO

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

2011-12-24T13:37:00.000+08:00

Mangangaroling po sana senyo mga Ka-Buco..

IN BEHALF OF MY FAMILY, AND OF THIS BLOG,

I JUST WANTED TO GREET EVERY BUCO SALAD

FOLLOWER, READER, ACCIDENTAL READER (HAHAHA),

FRIENDS, ENEMIES, FRENEMIES , LIKERS, AND HATERS

A MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

AND TO PAPA JESUSZZZ,

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY PO!!!

MANGANGAROLING SANA....MERRY-GALO PO BA AKO???

(^_________________________^)

Librong Uod

2011-12-21T15:41:00.000+08:00

Tama ka. Tinagalog ko lang ang Bookworm, wala lang nang maiba naman. Lately, nagiging ok-ok ako (kelangan bang itagalog din ang obsessive -compulsive= oc-oc) Atat lang siguro akong magblog at heksayted kasi naman ang tagal kong di nakapagsulat sa kuta kong ito.

Well, blogging is also about reading. Hindi yan mawawala, para lang si Julio at Julia, hehehe tanda ninyo pa iyon? iyong cartoon na singkit-singkitan?? Ganun ang blogging, hindi siya pwedeng mag-isa lang, malaking bagay ang pagbabasa. Hindi lang puro sulat ng sulat ang dapat gawin pero kelangan rin na magbasa para naman maggrow. Sa aspetong personal, o kung sa pagiging blogero man. Reading stuff enables us to explore more about different worlds. Sa pagbabasa ng libro o ng kung anu mang blog iyan, we enter to a new world. Kung nagbabasa kayo nitong Buco Salad, makakapasok kayo sa isang dimensyon ng buhay ko. Isa kasi hindi naman lahat ay sinasabi ko dito. kumbaga isang side ko lang ang nandito sa Buco Salad.

Balik tayo sa umpisa. Lately, nagiging bookworm ako. For the past years, piling pili lang ang binabasa ko- Bob Ong books, Joyce Meyer Mags, Bulgar, (hehehee), Xerex(lol sympre joke lang un) at kung sinipag-sipag ako, nadadalas akong magblog hopping hehehe. Iyon nga lang sobrang dalang nun. Parang once in a blue moon.

So ayun, Ayoko ng pahabain pa ang post na ito. I am reading 2 books which was recently launched sa mga bookstores. The first one is Bebang Siy's second book, " Its a Mens world". I've meet Ms. Bebang in the recently concluded Saranggola Blog Awards in Tivoli Gardens days ago and I can say she was nice and humble.

ITS A MENS WORLD is all about Bebang Siy's collection of childhood memories and experiences. The book is like a diary of a little girl who's narrating her experiences and struggles of growing up, despite of family issues, and poverty. All in all the books helps you to reminisce your childhood and bringing you again the sweet,good and even the bad memories of growing up.

The other book is Ricky Lee's New Book " Amapalo sa 65 na kabanata. Haven't read it yet, for the info Ricky Lee was also the author of the best selling, "Para kay B." I will post about it soon after I've read it. :) Anyhow, Enjoy the pictures after the jump.

Ricky Lee's Amapola sa 65 na Kabanata

Si Roanne, Ms. Bebang Siy at Ako during the Saranggola Blog Awards Night

ITS A MENS WORLD

Ang book na nilagyan ni Bebang Siy ng dedication

ANG HEADER AT ANG RETURN OF THE COME BACK

2011-12-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

So ayan kita ninyo ngayon ang bagong header ng Buco Salad. Naisip ko kasi habang balik sirkulasyon na naman ang Rico dapat may bago. At naisip ko dapat magbago ako ng header ko. Wala lungs para lang feel na feel ko ang pagbabalik ko.Ang header na yan ay courtesy ni Cute Berl libre po yan so sa mga gustong magpagawa sakanya its all for free hehehe.Ayan Berl ha todo promote na hehehe.

Nahirapan akong bumalik. Andami kong plano para sa return of the comeback ko pero ewan ko ba magulo pa sa bulbol ang pag-iisip ko. Sabi ng iba may sapak ako pero hell noh!!! Im so normal.. Sa lahat ng di nakakaalam, denelete ko na itong blog na ito pati na iyong iba ko pang pinagkukutaan. Wala lungs napagbuntunan ko lng ng galit ang Buco salad.Kawawa naman siya talaga. Pero sabi nga ni Kokeymonster may PMS lang daw ako at darating na naman ang tamang panahon na magbubukas ang blog na etow.

Ayun, days before the Saranggola Awards when I went to Manila, I was so alone(HAHAHA) in my friend's apartment and then while I was browsing the net with his laptop, an idea came to my mind and wasak... hehehe nabuhay ang Bucosalad. I was thinking that time that I will attend an event that involves blogging and bloggers so anu ako bale bat ako pupunta dun na wala namang katibayan na blogger ako. So para mapanindigan ko ang taytol na blogero ako, naresurrect ang blog na ito sa matagal nitong pagkakahimlay.

I had a lot of plans and to top those plans they were choices. A lot of choices. Will i continue from blogging? Will i return from writing? If ever ill be back from bloggging, will i continue use Rico as my alias? or will I leave Buco salad and start a new one? Andaming tanong mga kaibigan. Ive been to a lot of emotional stress and to blog or not to blog doesnt really matter anymore to me.. before.

I was thinking of becoming anonymous and start a new blog by 2012. Writing prose and poetry were really part of me and I knew that I will never part ways with one of the things i love. This blog has been an outlet for me and it really helped me a lot during difficult times, especially when I have no one to talk to. It has been a friend for almost three years and continue it will be.

Three years of bloggging has been productive/unproductive inspiring/uninspiring et cetera et cetera. I had a lot of ups and downs and so with this blog. I , Rico not my real name is very grateful because you've allowed me dear readers, followers, commentors to be part of your lives. Whatever way, me and my blog touched your lives I hope that you would continuously pour out your support as what you did in the past.

Sa lahat ng nakikibalita, sa mga usi, sa mga sawsawero at sawsawera... tama ang balita, tama ang kuro-kuro at tsismis... I AM DEFINITELY BACK!!!!! :)

MARAMING SALAMAT PALA KAY BERLIM LIMBAUAN NG CUTEBERL.WORDPRESS.COM SA NAPAKAGANDANG HEADER NA ETOW.....

voila

2011-12-15T09:54:00.000+08:00

now you see me, now you don't ...hahaha
this is blog is like the rain, pasulpot-sulpot lang welcome back to blogging hahaha

Darn Soldier

2011-11-08T14:59:00.001+08:00

And here I am, defeated , downcasted. I thought I could fight some more, to raise these guns I am holding to survive this war but then just when I need that ounce of strength to survive the battle, my own knees failed me , they never stood up again.

The war is just starting but then here I am losing breath, losing sight and hope. The sun has already set and darkness starts to prevail . The shadows of darkness has come down and that light slowly surrendered to its threatening.

I am a soldier, mighty and brave. Ready to pull the trigger upon enemy's sudden flight. I stand proud but times has come to put me on retire. I am tired. weakening, losing..

A bullet has hit me. Darn.

I am dying.. Darn I can't be dead.

Someone like you

2011-10-23T16:35:00.000+08:00

and now you're there, walking down that aisle
seeing you all white in that traditional dress
You're all smiles, unmistakably happy for the moment of yours has now..come

I sitted at the rear side of the church
Peeping from the two hearts wanting to be united
in soul..
in hearts..
in eternity...
in love.

He uttered the bows I've wished i said to you.
He was handsome in that black suit you personally chose for him.
You were both perfect for each other
You both compliment each other, same like what we have before...
yeah, until you've met him.

When you said ," I do"
I was tormented
There's no more turning back this time
No escape and forever i know i will regret.
the one that once mine was took away.

My tears fell from defeat.
My body numb from the pain because of the wrath that has conquered me.
My heart broke into pieaces.
I know I will never find someone..someone like you do.

SAKTO

2011-10-20T12:57:00.000+08:00

Ang hirap palang magsulat ano? Iyong sulat na talagang all-out ka sa pagrerealease ng nararamdaman mo. Iyong sagad-sagaran para makagawa ng isang obra.

Ilang beses ko na ring pinilit n iupdate ang blog na ito para naman may mabasa kayo. Kayong nagkaroon ng inspirasyon sa pagbabasa sa blog na ito pero ayaw eh. Panget kong pilit. Panget kong hindi natural kaya medyo natagalan bago nasundan ang huling artikulo hanggang sa dumating ang puntong ito. Ang pagkakataon na kailangan kong muling ibuhos ang saloobin ko, ang aking mga nararamdaman pati na ang mga agam-agam. Panahon na upang ang mga kinikimkim ay isiwalat at ang lumang pluma muling angkinin upamg makalikha ng isang akda.

Maraming salamat sa paghihintay at sa pang-uunawa at ngayon habang nakikinig ako ng musika mula sa malamyos na tinig ng isang mangaawit, ako ay muling magsisimula. Sapagkat ang lahat ay naaayon sa panahon, hindi pilit at hindi manibalang... ito ay hinog na,natural, natataon at sakto lang.

Ngiti ng Pag-asa

2011-10-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hi, peepz!!! Its been a while,

I am back from a month of being hiatus.

and so to start another round of writing and inspiring people (lels)

Sasama ako sa .....

And here's my qoute entry:

"Sa panahon ng kalungkutan

o ng kapighatian,
Ang isang matamis na ngiti ay

sapat na para makapagbigay sigla at pagasa

sa mga taong nangangailangan ng pagkalinga."

Salamat sa mababait at mabubuting sponsors ng SMILE Quotes Contest :

Field of Dreams, Alohagems on Squidoo, ISP101 at from the dungeOn.

Pause

2011-08-30T08:24:00.000+08:00

when everything seems to crumble down..
and ashes prevents your eyes to see things ..
when you don't know what to believe in...
And the spirit of hope seems to hard to reach...
when everybody just so in to themselves...
when everyone seems not to care..
when goals aren't met and dreams are broken
and despair and grief are the only one who can comfort you...

Pause.
That's what you can do, to stop from drowning
and from decaying.

Life's a bitch and then we all die
and the bitch's mean laughter will echo until it fades away.

Bumming Around

2011-08-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

Welcome Home

2011-08-02T13:22:00.000+08:00

It has been exactly twelve days since I've left the noisy streets of Manila and i didN't really imagine myself going back to the province and be uncertain of how long will i stay here. For three years, I have spent most of the holidays and vacation time working and staying in Manila. I have been so used to live independently being away from friends and my family way back home.

There's some sort of madness and sense of fulfillment on living on your own. perhaps, those people who also came from the province and were living by themselves can really relate to what I am talking about. Living independently is like freedom for people like me. Its like having given a privilege to think only of yourself(but not in a selfish way of thinking), enjoying your own money you worked hard for, splurge it to many things you like and being worry proof about everything that stresses you when you are at home.

For three years, I have been a "scavenger" with no permanent address because I moved out from one place to another because of not having a regular work. I live nearby where my work is. i live alone without those familiar restrictions my family give when I am home.

But of course, there were times when you felt like lonely too, especially when you were sick. There was no one to take care of you, but only yourself. I burst into tears when I am sick. There were times when you are alone and being alone makes you more alone and that you wanted someone will take care of you because you were not capable of doing anything because you were sick. Spending the holidays on your own can be crazy too.

Now, I will surely miss those times when I do things on my own. but for now, I guess leaving Manila was the best choice. Resigning from work where i earn meager wage was good choice too. The time i have spent working in that company was bittersweet. I've found friends but in the end I need to think about my future too. I knew that not leaving will cost me a lot- my future. The one thing i must say hard for me to leave was my involvement in the church ministry. I've worked hard to be part of the music team but then for some personal reasons i guess it was not the right time to be back there. For some point, God revealed many things to me and so, though hard for my part gave up being in the band.

Deciding to go home was like halo-halo. I've got mixed emotions that i need to balance to choose a good decision. a decision i will never regret. And now here I am, in the place where I was cradled dear-fully. I still remember the faces of my family when I arrived from the first night, All were happy. All were in awe and excited.

HIHIRAMIN KO LANG ANG PUNCHLINE NG ISANG SIKAT NA CREDIT CARD:

GOING BACK HOME:

PRICELESS!!!

Tulog Na

2011-07-13T15:58:00.003+08:00

The Insomniac

Posted on March 16, 2011 by rico

Not been sleeping for 3 days(but not straight, I’ll be dead if I do that) and yeah, now my body is haunting me from depriving it from a good na-night sleep. I caught colds and its even made worse by the AC of my office.
I have been sleeping “crazy” since college because of my graveyard shift duties. I think my body clock adapted to it and so I’ve been insomniac for about 6 years now. I’m surprised I am still alive hahahha..
Since I have sleeping problems, I made some solutions to it. Sadly, it all failed. My friend suggested that I take Benadryl( primarily used for allergies) because it has sedating effects and that would make me fall asleep. I’ve took some it before and it help me to rest but then realized that I might get dependent to the drug so I decided to stopped.
I’ve been through the traditional stuff like counting sheeps, thinking about a black hole et cetera et ce tera but all concludes to one conclusion- it all failed. it doesn’t work for me. I drank warm milk to fall asleep, the milk was warm,the milk was sweet. But yeah, another failed attempt. The good thing about drinking milk aside from its sweet,calcium booster and warm (hahaha) I found out that I’m lactose intolerant hahaha. From then on I quit trying new things to fall asleep and accepted the fact that I will be an insomniac forever.

Grenade

2011-06-28T18:04:00.000+08:00

Sorry. That's all I can say. I told you, don't love me because I am incapable of loving people back. That's why it is okay to hate me and to abhor me.

I told you to step back. To hold back from what you are feeling, to ignore that special thing you have for me. But you, you are too hard-headed.I said back-off! You didn't listen. instead you move closer.. too close to get away from the pending destruction. I am a grenade can't you see? But you were blinded, you are so engrossed with who I am and yet ignorant of the disaster I can bring.

You were happy, happy with a person like me- numb, frozen, beautiful yet dangerous. You've found something in me people hated , people are scared of. But you, you were different and I am thankful for that.

Day by day , your love grows and your longing heightens because I can't love you back. I am a grenade. I am numb.I am heartless. I am frozen. I brought destruction and damage. I am dangerous.

Despite of unreciprocated love, you continued loving me. And i continued not loving you back,of being selfish and ignoring you. Your destruction rapidly started. My ignite has been triggered by arguments and slowly you were ravished by the fire. The explosion swallowed you, the fire ravished you. The destruction of your heart continued and like that favorite mug you bought, it cracked out and eventually broke into pieces. You shed tears, you bled blood. I've warned you didn't I?

I am incapable to love. I am dangerous to touch but you never heed.

And so I exploded and I broke your heart.

I am a grenade, please back off.

Pasubali

2011-06-03T23:18:00.003+08:00

I always wanted to do this

To look you straight in the eye

Pierce you inside

Your Soul ..

Your mind...

Your heart...

Look at me.
Am I not enough?
Am I not the best yet?
Please, don't look at the other way.
Answer me.

Closure.That's all I wanted

Lets not prolong the agony

Nor shed an ocean of tears

Not even shedding of blood.

Because of heartaches.

I love you.

You love me.

But silence is deafening

and our pride is now towering.

Tell me,is forever gone to waste?

Talking To the Moon

2011-05-31T10:49:00.001+08:00

Andoy sat behind the window made out of capiz shells. The wind whispers gently with the cold air of December. It was already dawn but Andoy remains awake as the moon lit the whole San Carmona, spreading its mystique and luminiscence.

Gently, he opened the old window and put his both palms on his cheeks. He looked from the vast dark skies and the luminous moon captured his attention. The moon on that night was full. the reddish color of it was like the color of blood, yet behind to it was an unmistakable glow, making it more mysterious.

It was breathtaking yet the picturesque scene made Andoy lingered more emotions from his past. He put off his palms from his chin and one hand he placed inside his pocket and took the box of Philip Morris from it. It was freezing cold. Ironic because its was summer. Maybe the monsoons lost its way and the cold wind was present that night.

He opened the box and from there took a stick of menthol cigarette, thinking that a puff would warm him up. He moved his right hand and positioned it, cupped to cover the cold wind from blowing off the flame.
He looked again to the moon. And now he saw stars twinkling in the background. He took one deep breath and puffed. The smokes of the cigarette were like that little clouds which covered the mystic moon.Same clouds that blinded his path from recovering from a tragic night one full moon.

A memory of the past was coming back to Andoy. The picture of the red moon always brought him back to a past...a lonely past. Flashes of the it kept coming back to him where once the young Andoy was desperately looking for his sweetheart; calling mightily at the top of his voice, looking for the beautiful Cecilia.

It was just like this mystic night where the moon was full and screaming red when he found his beloved bathing in her own red crimson.

Raped...

Devoured...

Abused..

Stabbed...

Struggling her battle for life,lying helplessly. moaning from pain and gasping air to breathe for her to live and yet Cecilia lost the battle and its not too long when the beautiful Cecilia was proclaimed..

MURDERED!!!!! Lifeless in his lap.

"Why moon? " he uttered. 'Why did you not watch and protect her when I was not there?!"

A tear fell from his cheek. His grief was never cured after that one mystic night where the moon was full and was screaming red.

That Granny in the Jeepney

2011-05-25T12:08:00.000+08:00

Ilang beses nang nag-snooze ang alarm ng selepono ko pero hindi parin ako bumabangon. Inaantok parin kasi ang diwa ko, napuyat kasi ako kagabi sa pag-iinternet . Mga alas-dos na ako ng umaga umuwi sa boarding house kaya naman aantok antok ako dahil kulang sa tulog.

Pinatay ko ang alarm at pilit na gumising sapagkat mahuhuli na ako sa trabaho. Dali-dali kong tinahak ang banyo para makaligo at nang makaaalis na para sa pagpasok ko ngayon araw. Nagising ako sa malamig na tubig na bumasa sa aking inaaantok na katawan. Ang amoy ng sabong pampaligo ay mas lalong gumising sa aking balinatataw. Ilang minuto pa lumabas ako ng banyo at mabilisang nagbihis.

Tinahak ko ang daan patungong sakayan. Nagugutom ako pero akin iyong tiniis dahil gusto kong mawala ang bilbil na namuo dahil sa walang sawang pag-inom ng serbesa. Ayos lang maglakad ang sabi ko sa saril, malayo kasi ang sakayan kaya tulong naring ehersisiyo ito para sakin dahil hindi ako nakapagjogging kanina.

Makapal ang usok ng kapaligiran. At kumpol kumpol ang mga taong nag-aabang ng masasakyan sa Morayta. Tumigil ako sa isang sulok at nag-abang ng jeep papuntang Kalaw. Sa Ermita kasi ako nagtratrabaho at ang jeeep na biyaheng Kalaw ang kailangan kong sakyan papunta doon.

Pumara ako sa isa sa maraming jeep sa Maynila na medyo kinakalawang na. Umidlip ako ng bahagya upang kahit paano'g makabawi ng tulog. Bigla akong nagising sa preno ng drayber ng jeep na sinasakyan ko. Muli, ang mga pandama ko'y nagising sa ingay ng paligid.

Naulinigan ko ang nagmamakaawang matanda na nagpupumilit sumakay sa jeep ng mapiling drayber na aking sinasakyan. Mahina na ang matandang babae na pilit na pumapara sa jeep na aking sinasakyan, bakas sa mukha niya ang pagod at hirap na kanyang pinagdaanan para lang makasakay. Ayaw ihinto ng drayber ang jeep pero sumigaw na ang mga pasahero para makasakay lang ang nakahahabag na matandang babae.

Naaawa ako sa kalagayan ng matanda. Naaalala ko sa kanya ang lola ko na nasa probinsya. Bagamat malaki ang pagkakaiba nilang dalawa, kapag tumitingin ako sa lolang kharap ko naaalala ko si Lola sa kanya. Malakas pa ang lola ko na nasa Pangasinan kabaligtaran ng matandang kaharap ko ngayon. Sunog na ang balat sa pakikipaglaban sa buhay. Hapis ang muka at malalim ang mga mata bungad ng mga agam-agam. Mahina na ito, pilit na tintimbang ang lakas sa bawat pagkilos na ginagawa nito. Tahan-tahan nito ang dalawang karton na naglalalaman ng mga plastik at lumang damit.

Hindi mapakali si lola, bitbit ang coin purse pilit na kinakalkula ang laman ng kanyang pitaka. Minsa'y gumagalaw ang labi nito at umuutal ng mga salitang hindi ko masyadong maintindihan dahil sa kahinaan ng pagbigkas nito.

"Nay, san po kayo bababa???!!!" angil ng masungit na drayber sa matanda. Inabot ni Lola ang mumunting mamiso sa katabi nito at pautal na nagsabing , "Kamuning".
"Pa-Kalaw lang po ito, nay!!!" inis na nawika ng drayber. Parang walang narinig ang matandang babae at pilit na ipinikit ang mga mata at ipahinga ang pagal nitong katawan.

Naisip ko, kasabay ng ating pagtanda lumilipas din ang ating kakayahan para baguhin ang ating kapalaran. Nawawalan tayo ng maraming opurtunidad dahil narin sa limitasyon ng ating mga katawan. Kelangan nating lumaban para hindi tayo tangayin ng malupit na agos ng tadhana pero minsan ang buhay narin mismo at tadhana ang tumataboy satin upang manatili sating kinalalagyan , sinasabing kailangan nating magpatangay sa malupit na agos ng kapalaran.

Bago ako bumaba inabutan ko si Lola ng singkwenta pesos at nagdasal sa Diyos na sana'y gabayan ang matanda. Alam ko na hindi man ako makakatulong para ihatid siya sa papuntahan niya pero tiyak ko na aabot naman ang perang iyon para makarating siya sa kanyang paroroonan.

Walang Kuwenta

2011-05-20T23:46:00.000+08:00

Wala lang. Wala talaga ako maiblog.tinatamad na naman kasi ako. As in umaatake ang sakit ko sa bato. As in pagkabatugan pero ito pipilitin ko na magsulat para naman matuwa -tuwa kayo sa walang kakuwenta-kuwentang blog na ito hehehe. Lately, dragging na ang pagbloblog sakin ewan ko ba.Tinatamad akong magpost at dumoble ata ang pagiging tamad ko sa pagblobloghop.

Kung matagal ka ng reader ng blog na ito at kung isa ka sa mga followers na hindi nagbabasa ng blog na ito, marahil alam mo na ang tinutumbok ko hehehe hindi talaga ako mahilig magblog hop. Ewan ko ba hindi ako kasing friendly sa blog eh madami nagsasabi snob daw ako pero sa personal supah friendly talaga ako, itanong mo pa kay Bino.

Okay lang naman sakin na hindi kayo magkoment eh. o kahit ano alam ko nilalangaw na itong blog na ito kaya minsan iniisip ko magsimula uli, iyong tipong anonymous ba tulad ng dati pero ewan ko ba kung bakit di matuloy tuloy. Hinahanap rin kasi ng katawan ko ang mga kaibigan eh kaya siguro hindi ko rin maiwanan ang pagiging Rico De Buco. Mahirap iwanan ang mga memories na nakuha ko sa blog, hindi lang puro memories pero ang mga taong nakadaupang palad ko sa pagsusulat.

Walang sense noh? Magulo lang ang utak ko ngayon hahaha kaya ganito jumping of ideas ang nangyayari hahaha.. Parang jumping salad lang hahaha. Ano kaya magandang isulat? suggest ka nga? naaadik lang talaga ako ngayon.

Gusto ko magrelax, uminom at kumanta hahaha parang mangagaw lang ng mikropono sa kumakantang banda, magsayaw sayaw at sumigaw... Saya siguro noon. Napaka unpredictable, napaunconventional.. Alam mo iyong pakiramdam na wala kang pakialam sa lahat at you just wanted to have fun...(Hindi ko talaga alam kung saan patungo itong post na ito at kung saan ko rin siya puputulin kaya kung ayaw mo na iclose mo nalang hahaha)

Ngapala, nagresign ako di ba at nag took effect iyon nung May 15. Itong week lang nawalan ako ng work. At sinubok ko uli magapply sa Makati at maging tostang Buco sa ilalim ng mainit na araw. Saya mukha na akong Negro kasi sobrang bilad ako sa araw pero Cute parin ako hahaha. Oops walang kokontra sapak ang abot mo lels..

Mahirap pala magapply uli, Actually tatlo nakuha kong sakit sa pag-aaapply.. Una, sakit sa bulsa naku talagang namumulubi ako sa pera hahaha. Pangalawa, sakit sa paa. Mejo masakit sa paa kasi noong formal shoes ko eh kaya ayon nagkakalyo na naman ako..Demet... Pangatlo, sakit sa utak... mabaliw baliw ako sa kakaanswer sa lahat ng psychological exams with shading shading pang nalalalaman. Pati exam, prang pinipiga ang utak ko sa kakaisip hahaha...Wala lang nishare ko lang...Pero in the end wala negative parin ang ending.. so ako itong impulsive bumalik ako sa dati kong kompanya...hahahha no choice eh...ayokong walang work hahaha..

Sabi ko naman sayo walang kuwenta tong post na ito ..Sa title palang alam mo na walang kuwenta hahaha pero gulat ako nakakasakay ka sa walang kakwenthan ko hehehe..next time talaga magpopost na ako ng may sense para umismayl ka naman..o sige siya siya ..Babush lels hahahaha.

Some Crepes and Ice Creams

2011-05-13T01:40:00.000+08:00

Whooah, ang tagal kong hindi nagblog about food. And because I know that you miss it , eto babawi ako at tatakamin ko kayong lahat hehehhe.

Pumunta kami nina Bino,Yanah, Axl, Pusang kalye and Kuya Kumagcow sa isang blog event sa Ayala, Makati about how to earn money from blogging. Hindi ko na ikukuwento pa ang details ng event na iyon but the sure thing was the event was very informative especially for those bloggers who are really starting to explore the benefits of blogging.

eto pala pics namin

bino,ako,yanah,kua cow and axl


the gang plus kua meow

Natapos ang event at naghiwahiwalay na kaming lahat. Masyadong mainit noong mga panahong iyon at isa pa may utang ako kay Kuya Bino at nangako akong itretreat ko siya ng Crepes and Cream so pumunta kami ng Trinoma para tsumibog hehehe

Eto na ang masarap na Crepes and Cream

Yehey!!!!

Mango Invasion ni Kuya Bino

Hazel Nut with Banana actually di ko na alam talaga name niya

At ang kayYanah

Maraming pwedeng pagpilian na flavor and icecrepe treats sa dami tinamad na akong magmemorize hehehe
Basta masarap siya as in supah sarap hehehe.. Paborito ko na nga eh hehehe at talagang binabalikbalikan ko hehehe

Sulit ang 100- 200 plus na budget ninyo dahil masarap naman talaga siya hehehe

Kaya magmadali na, pumunta sa Trinoma at baka pa maubusan hehehe!!!

PS. salamat kay kuya meow sa nenok kong pics at sa dslr ni kuya bino sa mga kuha ng crepes and cream

A Moment of Bliss: The Consequence

2011-05-10T19:10:00.001+08:00

PART 1

PART 2

He was just on time. He was excited that for a long time of wait.He will see the woman who captured his heart. The excitement was all over his face. And his heart was tumbling around, ecstatic about the near meet- up.He was wearing his best clothes. He fixed himself and prepared for this moment. Today he will propose to the girl he loves. The ring was inside his pocket and He was practicing his lines in front of the mirror last night, rehearsing diligently the words of love until it became perfect to his ears.Erdee stood up and line from the pile of people who were also excitedly waiting their loveones from the arrival area.

**********

The plane where Jenna rode had taken its landing. She was weeping silently for the whole time of the flight. She was nervous of the blurting and the inevitable confrontations.She was very afraid. Now, her lies to the man she loved will be unveiled. Finally, the end is coming. Nothing can stop the truth from slipping out. And worst, those truths will be coming out of her. Their relationship has gone a long way. They were childhood sweethearts back then. And their love for each other deepened through the years. But not anymore, when Erdee will find out the consequence of her mistake. That mistake that bore an unwanted consequence.

********

It was one Friday night, when her workmates invited her for an after-work night out. They were so stressed at work and so one friend, suggested that they should go to a bar not far from their workplace to unwind. Everybody agreed and so they spent that night partying and drinking. She was so tipsy and dizzy so she decided to go out from the flickering lights and the noisy club. She breathed heavily and closed her eyes. She tried to destressed out and tried to absorb all the things that was happening in her life; her strict boss and the pending papers she needed to attend to, her alcoholic father who bums three years now, the bills and the tuition fees of her younger siblings. God, she wanted to have a break or else she will have a nervous breakdown. It was just Erdee who comforts her from all of these monsters of her life and yet now, Erdee was a miles away from her. Dealing also with his own loads of shitty things in his life. She wanted someone who can comfort her and will assure her that everything is okay. Even for this time.

*****

A guy around his late twenties approached her. Asking her if she's okay. He was good looking. Sporting a not too muscular and not to lean physique. His eyes were gorgeous, it was deep set just like Erdee's. His bushy eyebrows and thick eyelashes made him more manly. Looking at the guy's eyes,she felt like she was hypnotized, or maybe she just drunk a lot of that tequila or maybe the guy's was just really attractive. They began to talk, and she started to laugh at his jokes. The load that she was bearing a while ag suddenly melt away. And it was not so long when she responded to his kisses. He kissed her with wild abandon. And the sensations she was feeling was firing her up. They began to moved aggressively, satiating each other's needs. She felt that pulsating member behind his pants and it made her more excited. He kissed her and released himself from all of his inhibitions. They went inside his car and the carnal passion continued to a room where dim lights where just the witnesses.

*****

She was two months delayed. And yes, she confirmed it last week through PT(pregnancy test) kit that she is unmistakably pregnant. The signs were all there, her breasts were engorged, she hids from her family the morning sickness she feels everytime she wokes up, the linea negra is starting to become visible,weird food craving was also there and the bulge in her tummy grows slowly everyday. She knew it already, she was an expectant mommy to be. Bad thing is her baby will be fatherless..

*****

to be continued..

HIPPIE BURPDAY!!!

2011-05-05T12:56:00.002+08:00

MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT SA MGA BUMATI, NAKAALALA AT NAGPADALA NG MGA BIRTHDAY GREETINGS SAKIN!!!!

NATATZ AKO SOBRA SOBRA!!!!

I FEEL SO YOUNG RIGHT NOW HAHAHA!!

WONDERING PO KUNG ANO IYONG ITSURA NG MGA GREETINGS?!!

PANOORIN NINYO PO ITO. WALA PONG MUSIC KASI BLINOCK NG SONY SA YOUTUBE..HMMM PATUGTUGIN NU PO IYONG "THE SHOW" NI LENKA PARA SA BACKGROUND.

ENJOY!!!! :))

at may humabol pa si Ron ng http://brandx.blogspot.com/

muli maraming salamat!!!! :)

May nagunfollow naba sau sa twitter dahil nafaflood daw ng formspring ang timeline nya?

2011-05-02T15:58:00.001+08:00

hindi sa blog lang maraming nguunfollow marami ding hater hehehe

basta tagalog kahit 1 million times pa. Pak na pak hahaha

the search for nirvana

2011-04-27T09:01:00.001+08:00

Rico De Buco
1209-A J. B***** St.,********
Manila, 1088
Mobile No.: 0927647****
E-mail: ricodebuco@gmail.com

April 15, 2011

Ms. Virginia S*****
Advertising Manager
The D**** T*****
9/dsjkdfjkjkjfdkj dkjklfjh;ljl;sajlgjljsalasajhkjdlklf

Dear Ms. S*****:

I would like to inform you that I am resigning from my position as Subscription Account Executive for The Tribune Publishing Co. Inc., effective May 15, 2011.

Thank you for the opportunities for professional and personal development that you have provided me during the last ten (10) months. I have enjoyed working for the company and appreciate everything you provided me during my tenure with the company.

Sincerely,
Rico De Buco
Subscription Account Executive

Quitters never win they say, but if you are not happy then why stay?

The buco boy will again conquer another quest, new interviews, new experiences and hopefully will land in a new better job.

GOOD LUCK. KAYA KO ITO AJA AJA!!!!

Longing

2011-04-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

Why do you always leave me?
And forsake me?
Have I not been good enough to you?
And so you always deny me,take me for granted
And treat me like that of a leper.

I've always protected you.
I will always love you.
But you, you don't seem to see it
And you just too focus upon yourself,
Ignoring me.

You're selfish.but I understand.
You're conceited but I just shrugged it off.
You just call me when you need me
Remember me when you're in pain.
But yeah, despite of it I answer.

Why can't you love me?
Can't you love me back?
Love me like how I love you.
Stop wandering around please...
Come back to me, and make me smile again.

- Jesus

The Return of Sunshine Corazon

2011-04-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

For all those Chasters out there, Charice will again showcase her talent worldwide with her much anticipated comeback in Glee. Hope you guys, will watch it. Its an inspiration for Filipinos seeing Charice hitting the mainstream.

REASONS TO CELEBRATE

2011-04-13T17:54:00.000+08:00

When it rains, it pours sabi nga ng matandang kasabihan. But for me this proverb does not connotes negativity but of course, positivism.

I have a lot of things to be thankful for. Surviving in Manila is never easy especially for those probinsyanos like me and now I am really proud that I have gain something in working here in the big city. I have faced my fears and monsters and still will be facing a lot of them as I live here in Manila. Eto po yung link noong gabing aalis ako papuntang Manila. LINK

New Year. New Start. So far, I've been progressive to blogging. I am not really the dramatic boy you always read on before. Now, I'm proud to say that I am blogging positivity and is posting the funnier side of me. From Ardee, to sharing my talent through videos and gaining friends to constant eyeballs and meetups. I can say that Rico De Buco is better now.

Bucosalad has changed a lot. I've done reviews, scheduled some fiction crafts and its scope has not been into its monotonous topics unlike before. It has undergone process and through your continuous support The Salad Blog and The Boy Named Rico will keep on growing and will still be here sharing its thoughts and opinions,and views on things about life.

17,000 plus clicks, multiple comments, 215 followers. New people, new connections,Gained friends.What can I ask for? I've started really from scratch and now I never expected that it will come to this. I am so blessed guys. I want to say thank you for the continuous love and support.( Pang Oscars na ata tong speech ko)I wanted to share this success to all of you guys!!!

Galing dito ang larawan http://benzinsider.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/2nd_birthday_cake_benzinsider.jpg

And with this, I want to say guys that my birthday is fast approaching and so my second year in the blogosphere, too. I wanted to ask for picture greetings from you guys. You can email your pic with greetings to my e-mail: ricodebuco@gmail.com Deadline for the submission of your pics is until May 1, 2011.

Hope you can participate mga Ka-Bucos!!! Expect ko ha!!! Thank you po!!!!

Harana

2011-04-11T09:34:00.000+08:00

I am promoting my youtube site

click the link HERE

FEEL FREE TO LISTEN,COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE

SALAMAT :)

The Reason Why I Don't Have Facebook Account

2011-04-06T16:00:00.001+08:00

    Social Sites are really rampant today. In fact, its like a trend for people especially for those who are so in touch with the internet. For people who loves lurking 24 hours surfing the net, having a social account like Facebook is really a must.

    Facebook, Twitter, My Space and the nearly-defunct Friendster boomed years ago as it became a necessity for the majority to be connected with family and friends. To be updated to what is happening to each other's lives. To be familiar with each other, to search and be reunited with old time chums or simply just gaining new friends from the web. No man is an island and thus, these social sites are proof that man needs other people or friends to survive.

    But having an account calls you to be responsible in your actions and in terms of using it. I have previous accounts before in Friendster , in Facebook but then I decided to delete it because of some reasons that I will tell you now.

    One fact I've learned was that not all people online were good people. Some, out there were devils in diguised ready to devour you or to destroy once they find out your vulnerabilities.

I had this friend in college, whom I treated as my bestfriend. We were like brothers, and yeah, just like a real brother he knew a lot of things about me. He knew my girlfriend, my mom, my secrets and even my passwords to my social accounts. It was not until that day, when he betrayed me. How? He posted pornographic pictures and videos in my account without me knowing it. My good reputation was stained by his crazy idea. How certain am I that he was the culprit? Simple, he was the only one whom I given my password. He said it was a joke and I told him it was not a good joke. Until now, we never patch things up. And yeah, I said goodbye to Friendster.

As you can see, Facebook and other social sites enables us to be close to people even people we don't even know. But it also make us vulnerable and fragile to people whom we open up with.

I've been hooked to Facebook and even had multiple accounts, for personal and blogging use. In both accounts, my girlfriend knew my passwords. I was opened to her even to my privacy. I decided things to be like that because I wanted to be fair and be transparent to her in all the activities that I do, that I have nothing to hide from her. But then, that was also the reason why we always fought,argued and yeah broke up. I quitted Facebook.

People can harm you through these sites. Its like you're giving them an entry to your life and be unsafe afterwards. Some innocent and other ignorant people were kidnapped through these sites(go to Zyra's blog), some may have been robbed or hurt and even been exposed not so willingly(scandals) . Not all people are good people.(digs?)

Quitting gives you freedom. Freedom from being the laughing stock of people( this happened to me this week, and take note I don't have any account at all),freedom from complications,and the list goes on for more freedom.(dugtungan ninyo na lang)

I am writing this article not because I want you guys to quit from it too. I am writing this because I want you to know that having an account also calls you to be a responsible user. (technically). Creating a social account entitles you to a lot of fun, connecting to your friends et cetera but also it does not end there. Remember that terms and agreement that you click on? These social accounts expects you to be a responsible user, in all ways possible.

I am not regretting it actually- you know deleting my account. I've learned that there's a lot of ways to communicate,to be connected, and somehow to make friends. I've learned that, "Other real people exist not just through virtual community but also in a real and true world.".

ALIPING PAKALAT KALAT

2011-04-02T14:28:00.000+08:00

SHHHH.....

HALIKA.....

MAY AAMININ AKO...

SANA HUWAG KAYONG MAGULAT.

AKO AY ISANG ALIPING PAKALAT-KALAT!!!

FIRST TIME MONG MARINIG ETO ANU!!!!

ALIPING PAKALAT-KALAT( HAHAHA)

THIS IS A RECORDING!!!

ANO MEANING NON???!!!!

ETOWHHHHH!!!!

(JEJEMON LANG HAHAHA)

pati na sa youtube nagkakalat ako

hahahaha ako na talaga ang aliping pakalat-kalat!!!!!

O ANO, DIGS BA????!!!!!!

kala mo kung ano na noh??? hehehe

How to Sing Desperately

2011-03-31T22:40:00.000+08:00

PARA SA PINAKAMAMAHAL KONG TEDDY BEE. SORRY SA LAHAT. SANA MAGKAAYOS NA TAYO..

I LOVE YOU PO.

Sayang

2011-03-30T19:30:00.000+08:00

I dont know what to think. alas siyete na pero ewan ko ba wala akong ganang umuwi. i am feeling lost and really hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. The very thought that came to my mind is to write. somehow, i wanted to cry inside but then how can i do that when i am inside the office together with my boss and workmates. Hard ?really hard. Its really hard maintaining my composure despite the destruction i feel inside.so i am using my hands to say what i want to say. to let my fingers bleed for my heart is so at wreck now.

To you. You know, for a long while we've been very happy. despite of all the trials we endured it all and i can't believe you are breaking up with me now.I was surprised and i really dont know how to react. We've had few fights but still we have managed to cope up with it and continue to run, to grow, to trust with each other. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ganito nangyayari ngayon eh.

I didn't flirt. I didn't cheat but still I am saying sorry. pero I guess it doesnt matter now, you are full of heartaches and hatred and disappointment I guess. For the second time tulad ng sinabi mo, ginawa na naman kitang tanga pero believe me I did not. Hindi naman ako nakipagharutan di ba. hindi ako naglandi o kahit anu pa that would make you puke again. that will make you feel disgusted towards me. I have learned my lesson but then I am plain stupid na hindi ko pala nagawang tama ang usapan natin that's why now you are breaking up with me.

alam ko kapakanan ko lang ang iniintindi mo. I know you are patient with me even from the start. I am so lucky kasi lahat binibigay mo, ininintindi mo at lahat na ginawa mo. super effort wala akong masabi sayo kaya nga mahal na mahal kita. You made me feel i am important, that i am precious that i am special. kaya lang siguro ngayon matatapos na ito. Hindi ko alam tkung bakit ganito ang tipa ng daliri ko sa keyboard. Magulo isip ko magulong magulo. masakit ang puso ko.masakit na masakit.. wlang direksyon ang utak ko ang isip ko kaya kung sino man makabasa nito bahala na kayo.

sori baby, pero wala naman kasi akong ginawang masama. hindi naman ako nakipagflirt di ba..andun na ko bobo ako kasi i made my self vulnerable .pero i didnt cheat i didnt flirt. Malinis ang konsensya ko sa mga paratang mo. Wala naman akong ginawang katarantaduhan di ba...

suot ko ring na bigay mo. iniisip ko si A**** at E**** at mga plano natin.. I even joined a part time job para maready iyong fallback natin kung di man magworkout ung pagmigrate natin sa ibang bansa. Sana makita mo din naman na hinihintay kita at gusto ko tlagang matupad mga plano natin. iyong mga pangarap natin.. ung japanese na room na gusto ko, ung stylish house at modern na bahay natin in the future. gusto ko matupad lhat iyon.. kaya nga nagaaply ako sa jobstreet di ba..kaya ako ngiipon kahit sa alkansya lang..sna makita mo iyon at hindi ung sinasabi mong kamalian ko sa Facebook. Sana makita mo namn na hindi ako ganun na tao.mas kilala mo naman ako di ba bakit sa kapalpakan ko lang mo ngayon sinusukat ang lahat.

sorry baby.hindi ko alam gagawin ko..failed relationship na naman ba ito..mag******** buwan na tayo di ba sana wag mo nalang itapon. pano na tayong dalawa, sina E**** sina A****..sabi mo ayaw mo silang bastardo then why are you walking away? bakit aalis ka, bakit hindi na matutupad ang mga pangarap natin?ang mga plano natin? Wlang annulment iyong kasal di ba? bakit hihiwalayn mo ko?

Am i not worthy for you anymore? Don't you love me anymore? I am sorry. I love you still kahit iiwanan mo na ako.Salamt nalang siguro huhuhu..matatapos din lang pala tayo. Akala ko forever na.Sana forever pero malamang malabo na siguro iyon lalo pa't desidido ka na. :'(

Ardee Adventures: Worried by ADHD

2011-03-27T03:58:00.002+08:00

Well, guys I am back. After some days of hiatus I am so back ( hahaha)! I've been experiencing a lot of tangled mess lately and so I need to free myself with those tangles that was why I haven't posted anything for quite a while.

I am worried to my son Ardee. I think he got ADHD( Attention Deficit Hyperacvtivity Disorder). He is SUPER KULET!!!!!!! I don't know. Its my first time to be a Dad and it is really hard to juggle this difficult responsibility to my other tasks.

Want a proof of my Ardee's mischieviousness??

When I go to work, sometimes I leave Ardee to bed sleeping. Of course, I always feed him with his breakfast and always prepare his advance lunch. After we both eat our breakfast, I always put him to sleep.


Ardee's like an angel when he is asleep

But then I think Ardee's meditating too much to his favorite quote, "When the cat is away the mouse will play."

EVIDENCE???!!!!!

Like Father like son???? No way I am no alcoholic!!!

When I get home Ardee always surprises me...

Tarzan in the making

He always plays Tarzan by playing with the string attached to our door.

Ardee hides in the cupboard, surprises me by jumping in my back and giggle like there is no tomorrow afterwards.


The Spiderman: Ialways wonder how Ardee can get through the cupboard

But then, I know that Ardee is a good kid...

He always guard Super Boink from suspected thieves.


Ardee and Super Boink

and He always sing and play the guitar to calm me and relaxes me from a very tiring and stressful day.

The Future Guitar Man

I will always love Ardee whether He has ADHD or not.

macarthur

2011-03-21T11:02:00.001+08:00

Mahal kita.
Sa bawat minuto ng iyong pagbabalik
Sa aking piling habang ako ay nanabik.
Mahagkan ka at mahawakan sa bilang na
sandali ng atin muling pagkikita.

Pinapasaya mo ako sa mga pinakasimpleng bagay
Dinuduyan ako ng ligaya at hinehele ng iyong mga tawa
Sa ating huntahan.
Niyayakap ko ang iyong presensiya.

Bawat puso'y nanabik
Bawat isa'y nauuhaw
Sa bilang na panahon ng ating muling pagsasama.
Masayang malungkot; malungkot na masaya

Mahal kita ngunit eto ka na naman.
Muling nagpapaalam, muling lalayo,
Muli akong iiwanan.
At muling mangangako sa isa na namang araw ng pagkikita.

Ako, iiyak at maghihintay sa mga pangakong iyong inusal
Aasa at mananalig sa iyong mga kataga.
Habang nakatingin sa iyo at sa kawalan..
Habang tanaw ang sasakyang tumatangay sa iyo mula sa aking piling.
Maghihintay ako, hanggang sa muli.

Getting Thrifty

2011-03-17T17:12:00.003+08:00

Sabi ng nanay ko dati, habang bata pa kami dapat marunong na kaming mag-impok. Sinasanay na kami noon para daw pag lumaki kami ay hindi na namin problema ang tamang paggastos sa pera. My mom was diligently training us to be thrifty and to be contented with our means.

We were never in scarce. But we weren't rich either. I belong to a typical Filipino middle-class family. We were raised having those material things other parents can't give to their young ones. May mga bagay na hindi agad -agad nabibili dahil inuuna ng mga magulang ko ang mga bagay na sa tingin nila'y mas kapaki-pakinabang. Ang mga luho ay medyo nasa dulo ng listahan at ang mga kailangan ang nasa una.

I think my mom is proud to my two older siblings. She was succesful in training them to be wise spender. Ate has a big house in Texas and my Bro is living in abundance in the province. I guessed I was the only one in the family who wasn't really concentrated on the training and did not heed advices from my mom.

In the family, I was the hardheaded onr. I do things on my own way and never fail to question my parents especially my dad when I don't agree to his ways. I was opinionated and vocal to my views on things and that's keeping from arguing with Dad.

Now, that I'm totally grown-up there are a lot of things that I fully understand. things that i never obey
when I was young. Some of these things, I am starting to practice, one of these things is saving money.

And so prove to myself that I am serious with this change, I bought my very first Piggy Bank.

piggy ng google

And yes, I will also try to control my urges in buying unnecessary stuff.

This I promise. With fingers crossed and a sincere heart.

tumbling

2011-03-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

rico goes tumbling to tumblr

Karma Chameleon

2011-03-14T15:34:00.004+08:00

“May problema ba tayo Labs? “Iyon at iyon ang laman ng kanyang teks sa minamahal. Dalawang araw na kasing hindi nagpaparamdam sa kanya si Jana. Ni teks ni tawag ay wala siyang natanggap mula rito.

Laking pagtataka ni Josh kung bakit hindi na nakikipag-usap sa kanya ang kasintahan. Dalawang gabi narin siyang hindi nakakatulog ng maayos dahil sa pag-aalala sa gelpren hindi man lang siya maalalang tawagan o iteks man lang.

Balisa si Josh. Ang daming mga bagay ang naglalaro sa kanyang isipan. Kakasimula pa lang ng pag-iibigan nila ni Jana. Mura pa at pausbong matapos niyang hiwalayan si Helen-Ang babaing pinangakuan niya ng kasal.

Nakilala niya si Jana sa opisina. Bago palang siya noon sa accounting firm na pinapasukan niya , nang minsang utusan siya ng kanyang Boss para magbigay ng mga dokomento sa sekretaryang nasa bungad ng kanilang opisina. Magiliw ang babae, masayahin at talagang mabait makipag-usap. Maganda ito at seksi. Maputi na talaga namang hinahanap niya sa isang babae. Gusto niya kasi ng mestisahin iyong parang kasimputi ng gatas. Ewan niya pero weakness niya iyon sa mga babae.

Ganun din kasi si Helen. Payat pero malaman. Maputi. Maganda pero ewan ba niya kung bakit sa unang beses palang niyang nakita si Jana. Iba na ang tambol ng puso niya. Alam niyang tali na siya kay Helen. Engaged na sila nito at sa susunod na taon ay ikakasal na sila.

Ilang beses siyang umiwas kay Jana. Ayaw niyang magkasala kay Helen. Alam niyang mahal na mahal siya nito at ganun din siya. Pero iba talaga ang dating ni Jana. Hanggang dumating ang panahon na iyon...

Nagkayayaan ang buong opisina na gumimik pagkatapos ng trabaho. Katatangap din kasi nila ng kanilang bonus. Masaya ang lahat lalo na siya. dahil katabi niya si Jana sa upuan. Nakailang bote din sila ng alak at naging masaya ang kanilang kuwentuhan.Nagkapalagayan sila ng loob at natapos ang gabing iyon na nagkakilanlan sila ng babae. hiningi niya ang number nito at iyon na ang simula ng kanyang kalituhan.

Masaya siya sa araw na magkateks sila nito. Mas naging ganado siyang magtrabaho dahil kay Jana. Umikot ang mundo niya kay Jana. Ngunit unti-unti niyang napabayaan si Helen.

“Josh, bakit!?” si Helen
“Helen, hindi ko sinasadya.”

“Anu bang nagawa ko? Di ba nangako ka sakin na tayo hanggang sa huli? Paano na ang kasal natin!!! Paano na ako?!!“ Humahagulgol na ang dalaga.

Tiim-bagang lang ang lalaki. alam niya malaki ang kasalanan niya kay Helen pero alam niyang walang madaling dahilan para sabhin ang lahat ng katotohanan.

“Patawarin mo ko Helen. Pero hindi na kita mahal. Hindi ka liligaya sa tulad ko...”

Isang linggo palang ang nakakaraan ng nakipaghiwalay siya kay Helen. Akala niya magiging maligaya na sila ni Jana. Na wala na silang problema at malaya na sila pero ngayon habang pinagtitimbang timbang niya ang sitwasyon; kinukutuban siya.

Nagtataka siya maayos naman ang huli nilang pag-uusap. Nag- i love you pa nga ito sa kanya. pero bakit ngayon may agam-agam na siyang nararamdaman. Mahal na mahal niya si Jana at hindi niya alam kung ano mangyayari sa kanya pag iniwan siya nito.

“May problema ba tayo Labs? “Iyon at iyon ang laman ng kanyang teks sa minamahal. Dalawang araw na kasing hindi nagpaparamdam sa kanya si Jana. Ni teks ni tawag ay wala siyang natanggap mula rito. Paulit - ulit niya itong tineteks, paulit ulit niya itong tinatawagan..

Nang biglang tumunog ang kanyang selpon.

Mabilis niyang ginagap ang telepono. Nagmamadali sa pagbasa sa mensahe ng babaeng pinakamamahal niya..

One message received from Jana.

Read now?

Inbox....

Opening Message....

“Josh, hindi ko sinasadya.“Patawarin mo ko Josh. Pero hindi na kita mahal. Hindi ka liligaya sa tulad ko. Matagal na akong nagkukunwari.”

Katahimikan. Ang mga katagang iyon ay umaalingawngaw sa buong paligid...sa kanyang pandinig.. Mga salitang binitiwan niya kay Helen noon ay ang mga parehong katagang hindi niya aakalain maririnig niya ngayon sa babaeng pinakamamahal niya..

Nabasa ang screen ng kanyang selpon.

Umagos ang luha sa kanyang mga pisngi.

Humagulgol nalang ang lalaki.

Ardee's Adventure: Product Endorsing

2011-03-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

I am a proud Dad and Ardee is so cute. And I bet you guys, will all agree to that. Lately, I was annoyed from the hundred of calls I was receiving from different companies who were asking me to allow my Cute Ardee to be their product endorser.

I am so picky and strict with regards to my son's career. And I just want all stuff that's best for him. I was once a model too( hehehe epal lng) and I knew already the what's and how's of being there- the limelight. That's the reason why I am so strict especially to my son's career. I just want Ardee to have the best of the best.

Here are some of the many pictures of Ardee endorsing products of the many BIG companies.

Ardee is known for his killer smile.

Coca-Cola : Open Happiness! Open Coke!

Even Bench was smitten by his charisma.

Bench Fix and Deo Sprays: Ardee has been benched. HAVE YOU?

Vaseline can't take their eyes to my precious Ardee.

Vaseline: Even Bears Should Have Good Skin Too :)

And the latest? Bob Ong. ^_^

I READ ONG, I LOVE.

Two points proved. One: Dad's knows Best and Two: Hell, yeah, I am the proudest Dad of the World!!!

A Hairy Story 2( A Hair Product Review)

2011-03-11T12:22:00.001+08:00

    Sabi nila, ang buhok daw ay crowning glory ng isang babae? Maniwala kayo? hehehe Eh, paano naman ang sa mga lalaki? Anyway highway, Ang review ko ngayon ay tungkol sa isang hair product. Oha Oha, umaasenso na noh. I've done coffee review, at iba pa. Now, its time to review hair products.

    Noong isang araw lang, I've cut my hair short since I will be applying for a new job somewhere in Makati. (hopefully matanggap) And since that position I am applying for requires good personality and proper grooming I went to a ~~salon~~ barbershop hehehehe.

    I've got this very short hair na pnalagyan ko ng isang werdong linya sa gilid sa kanang bahagi ng aking ulo hahaha. Wala lang. Weird kasi ako kaya kung anu-anong eksperimento pinagagagwa ko sa sarili ko.

    Short Hair needs good grooming. Matagal tagal na din akong hindi nagpapagupit kasi nga feeling ko mas bagay ko ang medyo mahabang buhok kaso gusto ko talagang matanggap sa pag-aaplyan ko kaya kinarir ko na ang pagpapagupit. Hindi ko talaga gusto na magpagupit kasi andami dami pang ritwales na gagawin maiayos lang ang buhok. Kung hindi gel dati, wax o hair gum ang ginagamit ko para maging ok lang tignan ang buhok ko. kaso senstive talaga scalp ko kasi kahit na mahal iyong gagamitin ko sa buhok ko nagkakabalakubak ako. kaya tinigilan ko na paggamit dati pati pagpapagupit ng hair at mas nakuntento sa buhok rocktar.

    Since, maikli na buhok ko. Sumubok akong gumamit ng clay. Salamat kay Manong Barbero na nagtip sakin.

Bench Professional Fix Clay Doh: Ang Clay na Super Lagkit


Open Sesame!

Tayong-tayo, Palong-palo! hehehe

Okay naman siya. Siguro fault ko lang at di talaga ako marunong magstyle-style ng buhok kaya medyo hate ko itsura ko ngayon hahaha. Malagkit iyong clay hahaha siguro umaabot ako ng ilang shampoo-banlaw shampoo banlaw para matanggal ang clay sa buhok ko. Madikit din ito sa mga daliri at kamay kaya minsan banas ako kasi. In fairness, mabango naman ang clay. Sana lang hindi ako balakubakin nitong Bench Clay na ito hahaha. Good luck.

Ang Hatol: Three Point Eight Star.

Eto ang bagong model ng Bench Fix Professional Clay Doh. Be Ready to be Star Struck! Este Star Shock Pala!!! Bwahahaha

Oha Oha! hehehe

Top View

Rico!!! Ampuge!!! hahaha

The Reason Why I love Katy Perry

2011-03-09T13:10:00.000+08:00

LSS ako kagabi pa sa kanta niya na ito Sabi ko magaling pala siya..Enjoy the Video

THINKING OF YOU

Comparisons are easily done
Once you’ve had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I’m with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You’re like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I’ve had the best
You said there’s
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I’m with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into…

You’re the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson’s learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I’m with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won’t you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I’d like to stay…
stay….

First Love

2011-03-09T01:18:00.007+08:00

I really enjoy singing. As in super. If you will ever ask me what thing I will never get tired of doing. Definitely, without having hesitation, I'll answer singing right away.

Singing has been and will always be a part of my life.When I remember the time i had my first audition in a church choir, it always givs me a happy feeling. As far as I remember, I've been singing since I was 5. I sing to myself when I am sad especially when I get scolded by my mom or my dad. It gives me a sense of freedom, of fulfillment and it brings out some sort of healing in me.

As I grew up, I've been to different places , met a lot of people who are also talented,some were more vocally equipped than me. I've been also to many glee club competitions because of the this talent God gave me. It ventured me to experience a lot of things and learned from those experiences.

Aside from writing, singing has always been my first choice.my first love. Never it failed me to connect with people especially for those people who have the same interest like me. There's no better way of expressing myself to people than just by singing heartfelt ly.

Singing like this gives me a lot of sense of fulfillment:

Rico Sings Click Here

Kung profile ko ang nakikita ninyo Add po muna ninyo ako sa Facebook.Salamat

o kaya tignan ninyo ang Youtube Profile ko sa link na ito LINK

Introducing Ardee!!!

2011-03-06T02:55:00.001+08:00

If you remember from one of my previous post that I will be reconstructing my blog. One of the the changes that I've told before is about the scheduling of my posts. I've wrote fiction stuff, personal reflections and to doing reviews of foods,books and coffee?(hehehe).What's next? Hmmmm... I guess its now time to introduce to you guys, Ardee!!!

WHO'S ARDEE????!!!!

ARDEE WHO???? WHAT!!!!

CHARAN CHAN CHAN!!!!

Introducing Ardee

Now, I guess the questions in your mind are already solved.

Ardee's not a mystery anymore. FYI: Ardee was given to me by Teddy Bee in one of our monthsaries. He's my kid. My son, my blood hahaha kung may blood nga ba talaga ang mga bears. May kakambal si Ardee, at ang name niya ay Erdee na na kay Teddy Bee naman.

Ardee and his adventures will be featured here in Buco Salad every Sundays starting next week.

Enjoy his cuteness.. :)


Ardee sitting on a chair.

Madalas nakangiti si Ardee pag katabi niya ang gitara ng kanyang Dadee Rico

Ardee: Abangan ninyo po ako ha!!! hehehe

Ako ang Nagwagi!!

2011-03-02T05:22:00.004+08:00

Madalang lang akong manalo sa mga paraffle at mga pakontest dati. Ewan ko ba marami akong balat pero wala akong balat sa puwet(pramis!). Pag nananalo ako umaaabot ng 48 years bago iyo masundan. Kaya nga kapag nananalo ako dalawang bagay lang iyon:

Una: Hindi ako maniniwala kung wala talaga akong proof na nanalo talaga ako.

Pangalawa: Sasaya ako ng bonggang-bongga pag napatunayan ko na hindi talaga ako hinuhokus-pokus. :)

Kelan ba ako huling nanalo sa mga pakontest na ito? Ah, tamaiyong huli ko ay noong nasa grade six pa ko( saan ka pa noh?). Nanalo ako ng ~~House and Lot~~ ng grocery showcase. (hehehhe nagiging showcase na pala mga grocery ngayon.) Other than that, wala na kaong matandaang may napanalunan ako sa ganito o ganyang contest unless nandaya ako hahhaha..

Tulad ng sabi ko kanina. Dalawang bagay lang ang nagyayari pag nananalo ako.

Una: Hindi ako maniniwala kung wala talaga akong proof na nanalo talaga ako.

Pangalawa: Sasaya ako ng bonggang-bongga pag napatunayan ko na hindi talaga ako hinuhokus-pokus. :)

THIS IS A RECORDING. HAHAHA ...

Kaya naman noong nagtext si Bino sa akin na ako daw ang nanalo sa kanyang pakontes churva, hehehe pinatsek ko kay jowa kung nanalo talaga ako. Shet, ako na ang mapangduda. Kaya naman nung confirmed na nanalo ako...

Ang soyo-soyo ko!!!

Ganito ako pag natutuwa hehehe

Last Sunday, nakuha ko ang isang set ng Bob Ong Books na premyo ko sa contest ni Bino na naglibre ng yellow cab pizza na pagkalaki-laki (hongyomon!) At nameet ko pa ang idol kong si Ate Salbe na supercute at equally hongyomon! dahil nilibre niya kami ni Bino ng Crepe and Cream sa Trinoma.

The Fan and The Idol: Si Te Salbe at Si Rico Mambo hehehe

(Salamat sa pic na ito Bino)

Eto ang premyo ko!!!Mainggit kayo hahaha. Joke lang

Yun na! Maraming salamat uli Te Salbe and Bino!

Alaala ng Paglisan

2011-02-28T15:14:00.000+08:00

Tinignan niya ang buwan na tanging liwanag sa madilim na karimlan. ang gabing iyon ang pinakamalungkot. Ang una sa maraming gabi kung saan hindi na magiging normal ang lahat katulad ng mga gabing nasa tabi niya ang kanyang kabiyak.

Ilang taon na ba silang magkasama? Ilang taong puno ng kagalakan ang kanyang puso sa mga taong kapiling niya ang lalaking pinangarap niya? Tama, pito. Pitong taon ng tuwa at walang kasing tamis na panahon ng kanilang pagsasama.

Pito. Pitong taong walang kasing tamis. Ang marubdob nilang pagmamahalan.. ang maiinit na pagsasalo sa pinakamatamis ng kanilang pagpupulot gata. Walang kasing kulay, walang kasing alab. Pitong taong sinanay niya ang kanyang sariling umiikot ang buhay niya sa lalaking halos sambahin niya..Pero ngayon, heto siya, nag-iisa.

Nangungulila sa taong pumupuno sa kanya. Ang taong nagsilbing liwanag niya at kalakasan sa pagtataguyod ng kanyang sarili at ng kanilang mga pangarap. Ang pitong taon ng kasiyahan ay unti-unti nang naglalaho. Umuukilkil..bumabaon ang kalungkutang dulot ng pangungulila.

Wala na siya.Tulad ng hangin na humahaplos sa kanyang maikli pero malambot na buhok kanina ; ang lalaking pinakamamahal niya ay wala na.Pero ang mga alaala ng kanilang masayang pagsasama ay mananatiling tulad din ng hangin...hindi nakikita..pero patuloy na mararamdaman.

*Got inspired to Salbehe's story. Para sa iyo ito Salbe.

kopi ko, kopi niya at kopi ng lahat

2011-02-24T19:10:00.000+08:00

I've always been a caffeine addict. I grew up drinking coffees instead of milk. I started young when I drank my first coffee, Nescafe with no creamer and yeah, i fell in love after emptying the cup.

I crave for caffeine products whether its coffee or not. Aside from coffee, I have a major liking to chocolates the reason why I gained some pounds now. Everything about caffeine makes me gaga.

Since I am not earning that much in my present job, going to cafeterias is not really an option for me. I seldom go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean or any other coffee shops that are sprouting like mushroom nowadays. Teddy Bee teaches me to budget my salary and frequently scolds me that I need to live with my means. And yeah, truly enough I am adjusting to her advise. I am among of those impulsive buyers out there, ready to spend his money on everything he finds interesting. and so, I'm also one, among thousands who don't save and literally broke a week after I received my salary.

Back to the caffeine thing. As the "slow-poke" that I am, I always need caffeine to wake me up especially at times that when I have only few hours of sleep. Being in the four corners of the office with the cold temperature of the AC, its really not hard to be bored ..and then fall asleep.I usually buy 3-in-1 packs of coffee in a nearby carinderia before going to work. When I fail to have one, I go to 7-eleven a few walks away from our building after signing in.

Recently, I decided to switch my brand of cheap coffee. My tastebuds has been picky after I've tasted the recently out brown coffee. Making me to try more of the product.

KOPIKO BROWN COFFEE's mixture of creamer, brown sugar and coffee will not dissapoint you after you experience trying it. You can tell the distinct taste ofthe coffee, the creamer and of course,the brown sugar after sipping it from your cup. The aroma of of a good coffee is also a nice thing to note in this new product. No need to go to expensive coffee shops, KOPIKO BROWN COFFEE solves the problem of searching the cheap yet good quality of a hot caffeine drink. Try mo!!

4 stars for this.

Special thanks to Teddy Bee. Thank you for still sticking with me through thick and thin all along these past five months. HAPPY MONTHSARY!!! XOXO

The Greatest Prey

2011-02-21T12:52:00.001+08:00

Tonight will be one among the countless nights where he will play again another role, a new name, a new character to portray. He turned the knob of the shower and gently, the sprinkles of the cold water touched his skin. The coldness of the water awaken the sleeping senses of his being.He took the soap from its holder and denched it to his skin. It made his skin slippery to touch...bubbles began to form and the masculine scent of the soap arouse from the friction made from rubbing it to his fair skin.

He rubbed the soap. Gently at first then eventually the friction has become more forceful. His face desperately displays the expression of being wasted, helpless..of being in a situation he never wanted to be in..pleading and praying for an escape.He combed his wet hair with his thin fingers and angled his head towards the shower sprinkler. His body began to feel the remorse of how he was living his life, of how troubled his life is. Tears began to form from his eyes and as the water sprinkled to his being so his tears began to run from his cheeks.

He was crying but the sound of the flowing water drowned his sobs. He eventually pacified his self and assured his self with good things, that eventually everything will be okay. He moved out from the shower and dried his wet body with a blue towel. He walked towards the bed and put one by one the clothes he chose for his close devour.He looked at himself in the mirror. His reflection is perfect. Everyone will target him tonight for he is such a good prize to catch. He is certain of that.

And so the prey went on to the wilderness of hunting, mingled with other submissive preys awating for their upcoming devour. Predators flocked in, gawking at the meatiest piece, eyeing for the tastiest, fighting for the greatest prey- him.

And so each prey will be desired and each one will be chase...

And so the hunting mounted..

And all the desires satieted..

And predators fed and full...

while the preys were devoured, weak and dying..

gasping for life to survive for another night's hunt.

Nakakain ka na ba ng Balls?

2011-02-17T18:06:00.000+08:00

Masarap kumain lalo pa't masarap ang pagkain. Hindi naman ako mahirap iplease eh lalo na sa pagkain. Lahat kinakain ko masarap man o hindi masarap. Pero mas maganda at mas fulfilling ang experience lalo pa't masarap ang nakahain.

Fan ako ng mga pagkaing hindi singmahal pero singbusog. Para sakin ang kalidad ng pagkain ay importante at importante ring ito ay abot ng bulsa ko. Para sa mga katulad kong sawa na sa mga ulam ng karinderya at pagkaing turo-turo na maka-ilang milyon times na inuulit at ininit-init itinda at bilyong time na nakapirmi sa menu list nila, MGA KAIBIGAN MAY BAGONG BALITA!!!!!!

Ayun oh! Si Rico pumo-food blog! hahaha. Tama bilang pangalawang review ko sa bagong-bagong Buco Salad, ang review ko ngayon ay tungkol sa isang pagkain. Yehey!!! Yum Yum!!!

Kilalang kilala sa ating bansa ang fast-food chain na ito. At okay sa olrayt na tinatangkilik ng masa ang mga pagkain dito.

Kilala ninyo na ba ito? CHARAN!!!!

galing sa Google Image Search ang larawan

Kamakailan lang naglabas ang Masayahing Bubuyog (Jollibee) ng bago nilang produkto at inihanay sa kanilang ever-famous 39ners!!!!

galing sa www.kitten-insideacatsmind.blogspot.com ang larawan

Charan Uli!!! Ang Bagong-bagong Jollibee Sweet And Sour Meatballs!!!!!

Syempre, bilang panatiko at loyal Masayahing Bubuyog customer. hindi ko pinalagpas ang pagkakataon na hindi matikman ang pagkasarap -sarap na Meatballs.

At Ang Husga?

The Best 5 Star! Aside from mura na ito at hindi mabigat sa bulsa. N ajustify ng Jollibee na hindi lang sa picture masarap ang mga Meatballs kundi pati sa personal!!! Hindi mo maiiwasang mapa extra-rice pag kumain ka nito. Oo, hindi ako nagsisinungaling! at hindi ako binayaran ng Jollibee para bolahin kayo!!!

Kaya ano pa iniintay ninyo? Kumain na ng Balls!!!! hahaha

Going Ghostbuster

2011-02-16T17:29:00.002+08:00

It's kind of frustrating as we grow older and we seem not to live the dreams we dreamed before. Plans not done, goals not met and so it's like a burden to live everyday wondering what happened along the way.

I dreamed dreams. A lot of dreams. and yet as I grew older, what's left in me are regrets. i see my colleagues becoming succesful in their fields. Old classmates soaring high in their careers while I'm being left behind.

i always felt that I am being left behind. I envy some of my friends but the envy I am feeling is not enough to make me feel bitter. I just regret, that's all..for missing a lot of opportunities. Years passed and yet I am still the old Rico I used to know. Despite of landing a job in a publication company and earning little praises from my manager I still consider myself left out. Days passed by and yeah, the remorse of wondering why things happened like that became more burdensome.

In moments like this when I go home, I lie in my bed after a tiresome day and ask myself," What happened Rico?" And I just find myself releasing a deep and a long sigh and shrug my shoulders.

I am working and earning just enough to stuff my stomach with cheap food and making myself comfortable in a room just big enough to lie down in at the end of an exhausting day. The wage I am earning is not enough for me to save for future hospital bills if I might get sick nor allow me to get some spare from my budget for a couple of tees. I work just to feed myself no more no less.

Depressing. Frustrating isnt it? Questions run inside my head when I start to think of my pathetic condition."Is it my parents fault because they've forced me to take a course so stereotyped and so promising before? or its my fault for swaying in to their pleads so easily?"Regrets sometimes can be so annoying I tell you.

The one thing that I know now , and whats clear to me is that i dont want to continue living like this. Something must be done right. Someone's got to start moving.And that someone is me.

The ghosts of those broken dreams are haunting. Shouting, that its not too late... Screaming that they need to be made real...Contentment is just for people who are lazy and weak. I am not one of them.

Someone must step up to fight those ghosts.

I need to fight those ghosts.

I wanted to give my ghosts' peace.

I wanted peace.

I decided...I am going to be a ghostbuster.

SUSAN AND FRIENDS

2011-02-10T13:27:00.002+08:00

I've got hooked to Bob Ong writings since the first time I've read his first book the "AB NKKBs N PLa Ako." Its natural for followers to follow their leader and so I've followed Ong's track through his books in his share of the limelight. Bob Ong's earned people' respect , mostly composed of adolescents and young adults from the his style of writing. Humor and at the same famous for his cute jokes that depicts reality.

Ong just released his book ," Ang Mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan." i was checking some good reads in the National bookstore last month when I had glimpse of his recent violet book. i decided to buy it since i skipped reading the silver one( KAPITAN SINO) and his book about animals (ALAMAT NG GUBAT) because of the negative feedbacks from close friends and known bloggers. In his latest book, Ong attempted to write about mystery and suspense but failed to do so. It never got me except me for the peculiar yet cute diary way of writing.

Ang Mga kaibigan ni Mama Susan is a story about a boy who attended to his grandmother in a remote barrio, hoping to find refuge and break from his tiring life in the city but ended finding terror in his grandma's cradle.

I give 3.5 star for this book. Ong should stick with his old antics just like what he did in his first book and stop shrugging off his cool humor. He should just give Miley Cyrus the right to ditch off her Hannah Montana character and not follow her to bandwagon.

Ripping Off the Old Look

2011-02-09T15:47:00.001+08:00

I thought that it would be fun if i will make a schedule of the articles I post in my blog. I am in the process of reinventing some stuffs here in Buco Salad so to maintain the interest and enthusiasm of the readers.~~And yeah, i am challenging myself to write flexibly.~~

As you can see, I decided to change the theme of my blog and juggled its layout. These changes are not fix yet since I am still in the process of choosing whats the best theme for my niche. the current theme that I am using shows a picture of yellow chicks. Somehow, it strucked me that these cute little yellow chicks represents us. People who are young, vibrant and adventurous. These chicks represents youth. I want my blog to be a channel now of good energy and so I chose these theme to promote positivism and energy.

Its a new year for all of us and I'd like to rip the old look and start anew with a new style and spirit. i decided to keep Buco Salad but reinventing it to the best it can be.I am blogging to express but not to impress. ~~But hey, there's nothing wrong in doing it anyway!?~~

Here the schedule plan of the list of articles I will be posting starting this Friday.

Monday or Tuesday-                 Fiction (prose, poems etc.)

Wednesday or Thursday-         Personal Post ( Humor/ Drama)/Video

Friday or Saturday-                  Others ( Current Events,Opinion, Movie, Music and Book                                                                     Reviews

Sunday-                                       Ardee's Adventures

I am challenging myself to this setup. Hope my goals will push thru. Aja! Aja! Goodluck:)

THE VIDEOKE KING (LOLS) :)

2011-02-08T15:44:00.001+08:00

Last Sunday, nakipagkita ako sa mga ever-friendly na mga bloggers. Tinext ako ni Sendo for a church meet up pero since I'm really not a church attendee anymore, I decided na gawin nalang lunch iyong pagkikita namin. Tinext namin iyong iba pang m ga blogger para mas masaya.

Finally nameet ko si Bino for the first time. Si Axl naman ay mamemeet ko for the second. Actualyl dapat kasama si Ate Leah pero since nasa Pangasinan pa siya hindi siya nakapunta. ( AWTS)

Eto iyong mga pictures ng EB nenenok ko lang to sa album ni Sendo sa Facebook eheheh salamat tol. For more cute pictures click ninyo lang link nina Bino ,Axl at Sendo Pero bago yan, eto muna check mo.

pagkatapos ng videoke session: Bino, Ako, Sendo and Axl

Going to MOA: Axl,Rico, Bino

Surprise Participation ni Ron ng brandx.blogspot,com

mga nasapian: Rico at Sendo

mga Hari ng Videoke hehehe

stolen shot sa Time Zone

Pili pili ng premyo sa Claiming Both

Black and White

Salamat kay Bino sa paguupload nito sa Youtube.May pag-asa na akong sumikat lols:

THE CRAZY EFFECT OF EL NINO :)

2011-02-07T13:14:00.000+08:00

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS SOMETHING CRAZY AND STUPID. IF YOU ARE TOO CURIOUS AND IF YOU WANT TO GO FURTHER... YES, GO ON. BUT DONT EVER BLAME ME IF YOU'LL GO CRAZY TOO. I'VE ALREADY WARNED YOU.

Tonight, I feel horny(totot) hahaha. I think I need a ~~sexual~~ mental release. From the day I've met Teddy Bee, I started to abstain. (whoah!!!)Abstinence , that is not to have sex with someone else except my Teddy Bee. we've quite gone far. We are turning 5(months) this 24th. and yes, (holy cow) I think Teddy Bee is the right person for me.hahaha. Talking about mushiness and destiny put up together. But seriously, Teddy Bee is a great perosn. She's smart, opinionated, independent and beautiful. I didn't like her by those qualities of course(yeah) What happen to our love story was that we instantly clicked... and popped,we have agreed that we should stick together . It will not be for long,we will be celebrating our fifth month together of being in this crazy love ride. Hope we stick like SUPER GLUE forever.

Well, lets go back to the horny part. Its been two weeks since the last time we coupled, And yeah, my libido is going high( hahaha). hence i dont want to spill another glass(wow hahaha) of my precious milk, I thought that writing would be a good diversion. And yeah, it went well. Good thing, I have written an article. A nonsense and a crazy one hehehe :)

REBIRTH

2011-02-06T02:11:00.000+08:00

TEDDYBEE REVIVED THIS BLOG...

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DID IT....

AND SO I AM STUCK WITH MY BUCOSALAD...

AND THE DIFFERENT STORIES IT HAS TO TELL..

THE PEEPING TOM????

2011-01-29T22:19:00.000+08:00

Tanong: Pag tinubuan ka ng kuliti ay nanilip ka na?

kasi may kuliti ako ngayon.. badtrip!!!! hassle to the max!!!!

P.S. DI AKO TALAGA MARUNONG MAMBOSO!!!! PRAMIS!!!!

OF STONED HEARTS AND NUMB CONSCIENCE

2011-01-25T17:13:00.004+08:00

The World is becoming dangerous nowadays. Accidents happen all the time. Death chases people lives every second. Many die with every tick of the clock.The world is inhibited now with fear, with danger and with a lot of precautions.

Terrorism has been part of our lives for a long time now. The World is not a safe place to live in. and somehow for the lack of choice, we choose to live to where we are. Our country is not an exemption, it is also invaded of modern barbarians and individuals who lust for blood,grief and turmoil. People who find happiness in the loss of lives of innocent people and who find strength from the fear of those victims of their savage.

But alas...

THE EFFECT OF MODERN BARBARISM

a photo of the recent bombing attack in Makati

Let's all put end to this and lets pray for the lives who miserably experienced this barbaric idiocy.

YOUR MOTHER'S OLD FUCKER

2011-01-24T11:43:00.000+08:00

PUTA.

PUTANG INA TALAGA!!!!

PUTA PUTA PUTA PUTA PUTA PUTA!!!

PUTANG INA TALAGA!!!

SALAMAT PARIN

2011-01-24T09:27:00.000+08:00

SA MGA BUMOTO AT SUMUPORTA SAKIN SA TABA 2010 AWARDS. MARAMING SALAMAT PO!!! PERO SAYANG AT HINDI KO PO NAKUHA ANG BEST EMO POST OF THE YEAR. GAYUNPAMAN, TAOS PUSO PO AKONG NAGPAPASALAMAT SA LAHAT.!!! DAHIL PO DUN, WINNER NA DIN PO AKO.. HINDI PO SA CONTEST PERO SA MGA TAONG NAGMAMAHAL..

ISANG MALAKING GROUP HUG!!!!!

ETO PO ANG COMPLETE LIST NG MGA NANALO..CONGRATS PO NG BONGGANG-BONGGA!!!

The Proud Dork

2011-01-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I just want to have a break from everything. Things are becoming tiring for me for sometime now. Somehow, I feel that Im losing the drive and the hope that makes me believe before that there's something good for me.

Life's been a bullcrap. Somehow, I feel piss everytime i remember how I'm living my life now. Everything well not everything is a crap. Work is crap, my career sucks and the stress of supporting myself in this cruel Manila haunts me everyday.

Everyday I drag myself going to work I never imagined I'll be in . thinking the scenario everyday, my proud self being paid and enslaved by a company struggling and fighting its all might to survive. It pains my pride that i am working in a shit workplace but dont have any choice...since all choices were not good enough. Its like the thought of me swallowing the crap i vomitted . Its like eating my pride and lowering myself to everyone else' level, its quite sad because i know I'm better than them. ( shit ako na)

I wanted to chase my glory days and all the memories that reminds me of the good times. The times that i felt that I am so successful and great with everything. But i know those times were already gone and it will just be a waste of time thinking of whats already has passed. So I decide to move on.

I dream of running away from all the shitness thats haunting me. shits everywhere and people sometimes are phony., Phony in the sense that most of the time they get into your nerves. Pissing you, ruining sometimes your pleasant day. Its like bad things are happening big itme and somehow I feel so tired of seeing, looking and feeling the shitness everywhere.

I want to puke. The dork I am, i wanted to breathe some fresh air. I have finally realized that I dont belong here. Why not? Because I am great and proud .. and they won't call me that if I am not, ei?

The Six Month Syndrome Disease

2011-01-18T00:11:00.003+08:00

Madalas tinatamad na akong pumasok sa opisina. Ewan ko ba . Bumabalik siguro ang sakit ko. oo sakit, na sa tuwing nagiging six months ako sa trabaho nagiging baliw ako. Baliw para maghanap at lumipat sa panibagong trabaho.

Ang lahat ay nagiging routine. ang lahat parang memorize ko na at kahit na nakapikit pa ako alam kong magagawa ko. Ilang beses na akong ganito. Ambisyoso kasi ako pero ewan ko ba kahit na ambisyoso ako wala parin akong nararating na maganda. Somehow, I'm alarmed , ilang taon pa ang bibilangin pero hindi parin ako stable sa buhay. Lintek aaminin ko napag iiwanan na ako.

Mabait naman sakin ang Diyos. Maganda naman ang trabaho ko. Subscription Account Executive. hahaha pero ironic. Maganda lang sa pangalan, maganda lang pakinggan pero olats. I've been doing a lot of things na puta ayoko talagang gawin. Minsan pinipilit ko nalang na lokohin ang sarili ko na its part of my job kahit hindi talaga. Madalas out of my job description ang ginagawa ko. Napapadalas nagmamaktol ang loob ko sa ngitngit na nararamdaman ko. Tulad kanina nagfield ako at naging delivery boy na hindi ko naman talaga trabaho. Langya noh?

Laging 6 months. Naging Clerk ako dati 6 months , I'm done. Naging medrep, tapos bye bye tapos telemarketer tapos adios din ang nangyari. Ewan ko may sakit ata ako. Since nurse ako, ako nalang magdadiagnose... May sakit ako, oo at tatawagin ko iyong THE SIX MONTH SYNDROME DISEASE.

Eto iyong sakit na pagdating ng pang-anim na buwan mo satrabaho eh, unti unti kang tinitira ng ganitong sakit. Tatamarin, magiging iritable sa lahat, nawawala ang mahaba mong pasensya and the rest of signs and symptoms ay history na.. Parang iyong feeling lang na MAY SCHIZOPRENIA KA TAPOS tuturukan ka ng sedative para marelax hehehe.

Days are really dragging for me. Sobra na ako kung makarelax. Dati ala siete palang nasa opisina na ako. Pero ngayon konting minuto nalang late na ako.nagagawa ko naman ang trabaho ko kahit pumepeteks ako. I make sure kasi na gawa ang trabaho ko before ako magdada.Napapadalas na din ang absent ko. At lagi na akong bugnutin kaya kombinsido ako na may sakit ako. May six month syndrome disease ako. Hindi na ako laging jolly sa work at puro mura narin ako sa mga kaopisina at mga ojt hahaha. Hindi ko alam kong nasa latent phase na ko ng sakit na ito pero sana sana lang bumalik ang dati kong drive sa trabaho kasi nga ... kasi nga...AMBISYOSO AKO.

Im starting to find reasons to leave this company. Mas dumadami ang hates kesa likes. Mas marami akong nakikitang mga bagay bagay na nagiging dahilan ko para umiling. Para sumimangot at para hindi maging masaya at kontento at nagiging dahilan para umalis.

Madalas naiisip ko, kelangan ko ba laging umalis. Mahirap kasi maghanap ng trabaho. Pero isang part sa isip ko kung hindi ka na masaya bat mo pa itutuloy di ba? Kasiyahan kasi ang basis ko sa lahat. Nagtitiis ako pero hindi din ako tanga kung alam kong pagod na ko.

Sa tuwing naiisip ko ang nangyayari sa career ko., I feel disappointed. Somehow, I feel na I'm better than what I am now. That I can do more. pero ewan ko ba maraming hindrances kung bakit hindi ko makuha iyong full potential ko. At sa mga panahon nagmumuni muni ako, hindi ko maiwasang mahalukay sa isip ko iyong thought na what if hindi talaga ako pumayag sa gusto ng magulang ko na magnursing noon .Pero I stop myself... Bakit? K asi ayon sa isang nabasa kong libro, wala daw ako mapapala kung magiiyak ako at maglulumpasay sa lupa na parang may epilepsy kasi di ko nakukuha ang gusto ko. WHINER DAW GUMAGAWA NUN. Pero ang mga WINNER ginagamit daw iyong mga resources nila kung ano meron sila para magtagumpay. Kaya ayoko ng magreklamo pa AT magisip , magregret na what if hindi ako nursing. AKO LANG MASASAKTAN KASI TAPOS NA. PILIT KO LANG TINUTUKLAP ANG SUGAT NA MATAGAL NG HILOM. Fine ako na ang winner. Sino bang ayaw di ba. kaw gusto mo bang maging whiner na naglulumpasay at nagkokombulsyon na parang may epilepsy? gusto mo????? sige kaw na.... Nakakastress lang ang magisip pa ng mga bagay bagay na hindi mo na maibabalik. We are what we are right now because of all the choices we made in the past.

Dilemma.Iyon ang nararamdaman ko. Sana nga makumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na magstay pa sa kumpanya na ito. Better yet, makahanap nalang ako ng trabaho na mas mganda. Solb solb ako nun.Pero habang may sinusumpong ako ng SIX MONTH SYNDROME DISEASE, pwede bang penge martilyo? Gamot ko lang sa tinotopak ko na namang ulo. :)

Thank U

2011-01-11T21:05:00.001+08:00

Salamat po sa 5 nominations. Kung sino man po kayo maraming salamat. Nakasama po ako sa mga final nominees sa Best Emo Post Category sa The Annual Blog Awards.

Ang Votation Link

Sana po suportahan ninyo po ako uli sa Final Votation.Open na po ang votation Maraming Salamuch po! Click ninyo lang po ang link sa itaas at iboto po ako. Salamat po uli!!!!!

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

2011-01-06T22:54:00.003+08:00

GUYS NOMINATED PO AKO SA BEST EMO POST SA THE ANNUAL BLOG AWARDS 2010!!!!!

HINGI PO SANA AKO NG INYONG SUPAH

DUPAH OVER

MEGA ULTRA ELECTRIC MAGNETIC

MILLION SUPPORT !!!! HEHEHE..

CLICK MO PO ITO.

Eto po iyong link. TABA 2010 click ninyo lang po at inominate po

ako. Paramihan po kasi ito ng nominations.

Wag ninyo po ako pabayaang

makulelat.hehehe

At eto po iyong panlaban kong post:

OF HEARTACHES AND HAPPY ENDINGS

MARAMING SALAMAT PO, GUSTO KO PO KASING MAGKAROON NG AWARD AS IN. ETO SIGURO MAGIGING UNA KO PAG NAGKATAON ("_,) HEHEHE..

A Moment of Bliss: The Trip And The Secret (Part 2)

2011-01-03T17:57:00.003+08:00

PART 1

Erdee hurriedly left the house. Each step that he made as he trailed his way to the stairways, he smiled sheepishly. He was ecstatic about the coming meet up. He walked hastily and got a ride on a bus. He was looking forward to this day. The day when their hungry hearts will be no more lonely and empty from being away from each other for such a long time. All the weariness will be wiped away, all the miseries will be gone and the mounting desires of togetherness will be satisfied. Erdee imagined and expected it like a happy tale come true. It was just like a dream..so happy.. so vivid turned to reality.

***

The Dashing Romeo thats what he is. The Balladeer, The Mighty Prince in fairy tales. The romantic Poet. That's Erdee in totality. The simple but gorgeous boy who just dream of finding his lovely princess, his one true love.

***

The passengers of Flight A613 bounded to Manila were rumbling around as they felll in line. Few more moments the people will be boarding the plane. A lot of them were excited for their long wait is over. They have succesfully passed the pissing security team. All whats left now was for them to go inside the plane, take their designated seats and alas, fly from the vast skies of Cebu to Metro Manila.

***

The plane trailed its way through the runway. First, slowly until it collected its full force and mightily took off from the ground. In the air, the plane soared high and in its glory, flew like a free bird..free from the worries of life and harsh realities, unlike Jena.

***

Jena never wanted that this day will come. She feared the day that she will be meeting him and blurting out all the truth. And that day finally came. She wanted to live like she used to. She was safe safe every time she fabricated lies when Erdee calls her. When he asks about how she is doing, she can positively tell him that she is okay though she isn't. She can hide truth with lies and she can make him believe that everything is fine.

***

But then secrets were never meant to be kept forever and she cant hide anymore from the ghosts she desperately wanted to escape. All secrets were destined to break and she think that her secret finally met its time. She knew she cant hide things forever, she cant hide anymore her secret to Erdee, the man she loves so much.

***

Truth shall set us free just like the old cliché' goes. There's no other way to do this thing right but to say it face to face. The secret, her secret is all coming visible. Erdee has every right to know even if she dont know where will she'll be, where will she hang on after telling it to him.

***

Jena looked outside from the window as the plane glided in the air, the picturesque view of Cebu slowly becoming blurry to her eyes; the clouds hiding them from her vision. She gave a deep sigh. She knew that her relationship with him after wards is like the view fading away and clouded by fogs. Blurry and uncertain. He will be devastated, she knew it was all going to fail.

***

Deep inside she hoped for the opposite. That they will still be together. Happy and in love. That she will be his princess and him his mighty prince. That they would not break apart. Oh, shit she don't want to think about the aftermath.

And Jena shed tears...

Scared of what will happen when Erdee sees her...

Her heart's pounding rapidly...

She just heard the operator has just announced that they have landed safely..

(To be continued..)

Panakot sa mga Daga sa 2011

2011-01-01T23:58:00.005+08:00

Heya!!! A new pic to start a new year, ngiti-ngiti mo na para masaya sa buong taon!!!

Happy New Year mga Ka-Buco!!!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

Before I will be on hiatus with blogging for a short holiday vacation, I just want give a shout out to all of you...

Merry merry christmas!

The Last Song Syndrome

2010-12-21T12:43:00.000+08:00

I just don't know what to do with myself
Don't know just what to do with myself
I'm so used to doing everything with you
Planning everything for two
And now that we're through

I just don't know what to do with my time
I'm so lonesome for you, it's a crime
Going to a movie only makes me sad
Parties make me feel as bad
When I'm not with you, I just don't know what to do

Like a summer rose needs the sun and rain
I need your sweet love to beat all the pain

I just don't know what to do with myself
I just don't know what to do with myself
Baby, if your new love ever turns you down
Come back, I will be around

Just waiting for you, I don't know what else to do

Failing Forward

2010-12-21T01:17:00.001+08:00

People come and go as they say. Nothings constant but the fact that CHANGE IS HERE TO STAY. Everything's in the perfect will of moving, of starting anew, of not holding back, of stepping forward and continuing of the journey you walk on from the start..

Sometimes,moving forward can be so hurtful and facing the reality that we need to let go of things that we can never bring anymore to the journey we are heading on is just so difficult to deal with. It hurts bigtime but in the end, with all the bruises and the fangs of pain that slaved us, we all come victorious, stronger and wiser than before.

People come and go. People hurt and move forward. Despite of failing to some tests of life, they move forward and believe that they can again conquer, they can start anew and hope for something that they can become, become someone better from a devastating past, brokenheartedness from a failed relationship or even from a miserable life.

Time heals everything. It nurtures brokenness, heals slowly the pain and dries up every deep wound.

People cope up. (Most actually) They fail,yeah , but they move forward. That's the uncanny ability of Life and of people, who everyday face their every own life battles.

Failures are just part of the everybody's journey and its a great reason to start looking forward, to hope and to believe.

We don't need to be restrain and resistant to moldings and to start new things. We just need to let go. Rather than sulking, let's accept the start of change in our lives.

And I don’t want the world to see me
’cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
- Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

breakeven

2010-12-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

gusto kong sumigaw ng malakas. iyong sobrang lakas parang mapuputol ang mga litid mo sa leeg habang sumisigaw. ang sarap siguro nun noh? iyong ibubulyaw mo sa hangin ang lahat lahat ng hinanakit mo sa buhay. isigaw lahat iyong nararamdaman mong sakit.

ang bigat bigat na kasi. sobrang bigat na. minsan di ko na din kinakayang magisa. kasi lagi nalang sinasarili ko kahit minsan may kasama ako pero mapipilitan ka nalang na sarilinin lahat dahil alam mo na di ka maiintindihan.minsan kahit gusto mo na maintindihan ka hindi mo nalang ginagawa kasi useless din. hindi karin maiintindihan.

gusto kong manuntok. kahit duwag ako madalas gusto ko ibuhos lahat ng pighati sa isang bagay. makawala lang sa paghihinagpis na nararamdaman ko. masakit dahil hindi ko magawa. gusto kong magtapon ng mga bagay, mag-amok kahit minsan lang. maiba naman,punong-puno na kasi ako sa lahat. puno na ko sa trabaho, sa pagibig at sa buhay. gusto ko naman bawasan kahit minsan lang kasi umaapaw na talaga ako at di ko na alam kong saan pa ang pwede kong lagyan sa mga fuckshit na mga bagay bagay.

nakakasawa na..nakakapagod. kaso eto tuloy tuloy parin ang buhay. tuloy tuloy parin sa pagabsorb ng mga bagay bagay kahit minsan nakakasawa na.nakakabuwang na. nakakasuka na. gusto ko ng lumipat ng opisina. makakita ng mga bagong tao. maghanap ng bagong trabaho. ng mga bagong kaibigan. gusto ko namang sumaya. gusto ko din magpahinga sa pagiintindi sa mga taong hindi naman ako iniintindi. gusto ko munang magpahinga sa buhay kong nakakasawa na.

i want to have break with everything.siguro sisimulan ko dito sa blog na ito.
merry christmas nalang at happy new year. hanggang sa muling pagkikita..

i bet this is untimely...so what?

so ano? ciao ciao..

A Moment of Bliss : The Euphoria

2010-12-03T17:57:00.000+08:00

Erdee quickly got up as he was awaken by the sound of his alarm clock. It was late last night when he set the alarm time to 4:00 am. And now as he had heard that familiar Mozart Ringtone, he never opted to snooze on the alarm just like he did on the old days.

Today is different. Today is something to look forward to. A day promising of immeasurable joy and bliss. He packed last night the things he needed for today's activity. The shirts and pants were neatly placed in the blue bag he bought days ago in SM -it was his and her favorite color . The beach short he packed when they decided to loo tonight in the hotel's swimming pool. The scent he uses that never slips away from her sense of smell. The undies that were colored white and black and the gifts he longed to give her.

Her. His love. It was exactly two months and two weeks when he last saw her. The meet up before was bittersweet. He never did say goodbye personally for they both now they were restricted with a lot of crazy circumstances before. But hopefully not today. He made sure that everything will be in their proper places. No mess ups, no arguments and no hang ups. He longed to see her, every night he prayed that days will fly fast, that this day would come. That they will see each other again. That he will feel that familiar warmth of her, those luscious lips, her sweet smiles, oooh everything about her. He dreamt and hoped so much about this day. That somehow, the meeting would turn nice and that they will have a really great time. That they will use this opportunity to catch up with the months of being in a long distance relationship, of being away from each other.

Somehow, he hoped for something that will melt the pain away caused by the thousand distance that kept them away from sharing the blossoming love to one another. Now is the time, the time to make up and to enjoy the chance to pour the melancholies and fill up the hungerness in each other's hearts. To flourish through the strained relationship tested by trust, miscommunications and infidelity. Now is the time to clarify, to be brutally honest and to build the limited relationship tested by fate and distance.

Erdee looked up to his watch. It said 4:00 am. He dragged his ass up and fought the sleepiness in his system. He took the soft and yellow towel and head his way to the bathroom. Splatters of the cold shower springed to him.

He was just too excited for today and the euphoria of her crept and possessed the emptiness.. the emptiness of missing the love, the love he loves so much....

(To be Continued)

Of Heartaches and Happy Endings

2010-11-30T12:01:00.002+08:00

I just wonder if happy endings exist. the days we spent from our partners made us believe that somehow that the-they-lived-happily-ever- after kind of thing nowadays exist. I was so pessimistic about everything and all before and I was not the kind of person who would believe about stories ripped exactly from mushy fairy tales.

I was basing everything from old experiences and some cases of the people somewhat close to me. i was not into happy endings because of what i see in the environment.Somehow, seeing these realities affected my outlook on things, one thing among them was love. The sweety-getty moments you see in the movies weren't really the same in real life. That's why its in the movies. Flicks were created by concentrated imagination by people whom in my opinion are not real in touch with reality( just my opinion, no violent reaction please..) Movies gives you that feeling of dreaming of things that aren't happening in real life. Its gives you good feeling and vibes but you know it also just ends there...just good vibes.

My classmate got impregnated by her boyfriend and ended up as a single mom. My sister got hurt by her best friend turned boyfriend who now in the present is her frenemy. My kuya's wedding almost got cancelled because of his womanizing and the lists goes on to the people whom I meet in my everyday life. Same scenario, different stories but same endings. Love is lethal. Love is complicated and so you can't really blame me from thinking like that.

My views on things changed(well, not totally) when I've finally experienced to love(ehem, ehem mushy part) and I have finally understood why things flow like that, why love was complicated like that, and why even in the most painful experience in loving, you still accept repeatedly the blows of shortcomings.Somehow, wonderful and happy moments flew us to cloud nine, created sweet stories and too-good-to be true things( those you see in movies) and then because of the good vibes we were getting we tend to demand more until we were eventually hooked to it. We began to believe of happy endings and forget the cons of the whole love situation. I have understood fully of it because of an experience.

You see people find love, hooked up and ended up crying and miserable. Majority of us have experienced this. (Its a fortune for those who haven't.. Dude, you are so lucky!!) But to the majority, getting love and getting hurt is not normal.

Pathetic! People say its normal but going to a relationship and ending up hurting in the end for many times and saying its okay is not okay. People all deserve to be love and be love(so as the saying goes) but accepting these things and beliefs that its okay to be hurt and to hurt freely? Dude I tell you that's crazy. Man, that won't do us good, its a crazy idea actually.

We don't deserve to be hurt. no one's entitled to hurt. If we want to be happy, lets try to think to another different,better and higher perspective. Lets try to think to another level better from the usual , so-called and believed “normal relationships.”

Hurt people hurt people. We live in a world where the norm says its okay to be hurt and to be deceive and vice versa. As long as we are contented to this kind of predicament, the same pattern will go on and on. It will not stop and happy endings are far to exist.

Sad? yeah but that's the truth. Go figure.

The Four Sides of The Square

2010-11-25T12:54:00.000+08:00

Assembly of God.

Tama, tanda ninyo pa ba? Ang Assembly of God ang isa sa mga pinaka-elite na venue ng NorthCap Review Center dati sa Baguio at siya ring daan upang magkakilanlan tayong apat. Ang review center na 'to ang isa sa m ga pinaka-in noon sa Baguio lalo na sa mga tulad nating nangangarap na maging nars.

Ang review center na ito ang nagmulat at naglagay sa puso natin ng alab upang tupdin ang sinasabing American Dream. Uso pa kasi ang pagnunursing noon eh, at mainit pa sa masa ang scandal na kinasangkutan ng Nursing Profession. ang dalawang buwan ng pagtira at pag-enjoy sa malamig na klima ng Baguio ay isang magandang experience pero wala ng mas hihigit pa sa kanlungan ng review center na iyon.

masaya ang bawat sandali sa review center lalo na sa tulad nating nangangarap. Magandang karanasan, magandang alaala. May tawanan, madalas ang harutan, may talent show pa at may konti ding kadramahan.

Apat tayo. Ewan ko lang kung kilala ninyo pa ako. Yael kasi tawag sakin ni Mam Anne dati kasi kaboses ko daw si Yael Yuzon ng Spongecola.. pero nevermind ,sana lang kilala ninyo parin ako bilang si Rico at hindi kung sinupaman. Ice breaker, ako ang pampagising sa mga oras na halos antukin na ang lahat dahil sa sobrang boring ng lecture. Ako si Rico.

Si Rhod ang ultimate heartrob ng Assembly of God noon. Ang papa ni Sir G. Ang crush ng lahat, artistahin kasi eh, poging at talaga namang may ipagmamalaki. Matalino, Gwapo at talented kaya naman hindi maiwasang di mapansin dahil kapansin-pansin naman talaga.

Cristine. Ang biritera ng grupo, ang Christina Aguilera ng assembly. Walang sinabi ang mga biritera sayo dahil sapaw na sapaw sila. Kung sa talent taob talaga sila.

LJ. Ang pinacute sa lahat ng cute. Small but terrible. ang Child Prodigy. Ang Kim sa Miss Saigon ng Assembly. Ginagalang siya ng lahat dahil sa talino nito, siyempre pa ang talent na napapa-wow ang lahat.

Tayong apat ang bumubuo ng parisukat. Nagkakilanlan sa pamamagitan ng isang masayang tahanan sa review center at napagbuklod ng musika.

Nabuo ang pagkakaibigan dahil inutusan tayong magrepresent sa Assembly sa nalalapit na meeting of all venues. Ang project: operation breaking free. OO, usong -uso pa noon ang high school musical at iyon ang magiging production number natin. Si Rhod ang mauuna, sunod si Lj, ako ang second voice at 2nd part at si Cristine ang mga birit part. Tanda ninyo pa ba?

Ang saya ng bawat praktis. ang saya ng mga kulitan sessions,ng mga bonding moments.Pero ang pinakasamasaya sa laaht ay ang pagkakaibigan na nagbuklod sating lahat.

Masarap balik-balikan ang mga bagay na lalo na kung ito'y masaya. May konting kurot sa puso pero ayos lang. Realidad lang na mahal mo ang mga taong naging parte ng buhay mo kahit saglit lang na panahon.

Wala na akong balita senyo.Nakausap ko si Lj matagal na panahon na. at ngayon wala na akong balita. Si Rhod naman, naoffend ata sa nasabi ko dati sa kanya at pati sincere kong sori ayaw ng tanggapin pa. Si Cristine naman ay hindi na rin nagpaparamdam at hindi ko rin alam kong saan lupalop siya napunta.

Apat na taon na tayong hindi nakikita ngunit parang buhay na buhay parin ang mga alaaala nating apat. Sana nga maulit muli ang mga dating mga panahon na tayong magkakasama.Sana ngunit parang ako nalang ang hindi bumibitiw sa ating apat.

Ironic noh, dahil kinakanta pa natin ang Breaking Free dati.

ISANG GABING PAG-IBIG SA PILING NI MAGDALENA

2010-11-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

Temptation at its wildest

Halika ka. Huwag ka nang mahiya. Alam kong ako ang bulong ng iyong puso, ang sigaw ng iyong utak, ang hilig ng iyong libog. Ako ang papawi sa uhaw at init na iyong nararamdaman. Ako lang.

Kilala mo ako. Laging nagagawi ang mga kaibigan mo sa pamilyar, maliwanag at maingay na bahay na tinitirhan ko 'di ba?-mga dakila kong parokyano. Kaya nagtataka ako ngayon kung bakit ka nag-iisa, nagpapakalunod sa nakakalasing na serbesa.

Tahan na, huwag kang umiyak. Itigil mo ang iyong paghikbi, kasama mo na ako, maglalaro tayo’t sasayaw sa ritmo ng pag-ibig na tanging magsing-irog lang ang nakakaalam. Asahan mong hindi kita iiwan kahit ngayong gabi lang. Sasamahan kita sa malungkot at malamig na magdamag, makalimutan mo lang ang mga hinanakit mo sa buhay.

Huwag kang mailap. Kabisado ko ang mga katulad mo, ang mga taong nagmamahal ng totoo ngunit mahina’t pinapaiyak ng mga kupal na babae. Marami akong mga kakilalang katulad mo’t nakaulayaw na din sa mainit na El Bimbo. Iniwan ka ba niya? Hayaan mo, nandito naman ako.

Kaya hala, magsawa ‘t pagnasaan mo ako. Mamangha ka sa alindog ko. Ngayong gabi, iyong- iyo ako..sa'yong-sa'yo. Huwag ka ng mahiya’t mag-alinlangan pa. Hawakan mo’t iguhit mo sa isip mo ang kahubdan ko at tayong dalawa ay pupunta na sa paraiso…
Mahal, maligaya ka ba sa piling ko? Narating mo ba ang kapirasong paraiso? Ngunit balewala na ang iyong pagtugon ngayon. Ulol ka na sa kalangitan na iyong natatamasa..Sige pa, huwag kang titigil, lasapin mo’t tikman mo ang dapat mong tikman. Sabay tayong sumayaw sa isang ritmo ng kaligayahan. Tutulungan kitang makalimot sa iyong pagkabigo’t hungkag mong pagmamahal....

Humayo ka. Alam ko sa nagdaang gabi, naibalik kong muli ang nayurakan mong pagkalalaki. Handa ka nang sumabak sa mundo’t may mukha ka ng ihaharap sa lahat. Naway makalimutan mo siya nang tuluyan at nasagot ng mainit na pagniniig ang iyong kalungkutan.Sa panahong ang lahat ay sinungaling at mapaglinlang, mahirap ng makatagpo nang totoong pag-ibig. Huwag mong kalimutan ang mainit na magdamag na buong tamis nating pinagsaluhan.Maghihintay ako sa iyong pagbabalik.

Gumawa Tayo ng Hinulugang Taktak

2010-11-22T14:04:00.001+08:00

Medyo matagal tagal na din akong hindi nakakadalaw sa Formspring Account ko , puro kasi hate messages natatanggap ko. Anyway inihaw, naisipan kong mag log-in ngayon and guess huwat? ang dami..more than 300 questions ang naimbak sa aking mahiwagang baul ng mga tanong.

Share ko lang mga ilan sa mga anik- anik at mga tanong nila na aking sinagot:

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber Wan: The Government gives every citizen 100 pesos for unknown reasons. Now, what will you do to it?

Sagot: Simple lang Pangloload ko lang naman, hahaha. siyempre para mateks ang mga frenly frens at mga fwamilies. jejemon na etow

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber Toe: Paano ba humingi ng kapatawaran sa isang taong nasaktan mo?

Sagot: Wala namang tamang paraan eh. You just need to be sincere and honest. Akalain mo iyon ingles hehehe. Pag kasi pinag-aralan mo paano humingi ng tawad hindi na kasi masyadong totoo ang dating. kumbaga scripted na baka manalo ka pa ng Best actor/actress award kung magkaganun hehehe

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber Tri: Bakit ang pinoy mahilig magreklamo na “bulok ang sistema”, eh hindi ba parte rin tayo ng sistema, e di bulok tayo ganun?

Sagot: Hindi ako pinoy eh kaya hindi ko alam. Choz heehehe.. Nahahawa na ko sa mga bloggers na gumagamit ng mga ganitong lengguwahe heehehe.

Ganito kasi iyon. Natural o nakasanayan na ng mga tao sa atin ang ganyang ugali. Iyong tipong pag may nagkamali kelangan may dapat sisihin, may dapat ituro.(oops wag ako)Dahil sa masyado na itong nakasanayan hindi nila alam na mali na pala ito. Nakasanayan na kasi at naadapt na sa madaling magsalita. they become unaware of it and it becomes a part of them.

Isa pa. mas madaling bumatikos sa sistema kesa gumawa ng paraan para baguhin ito. Reklamo dito reklamo doon kaya walang nangyayari sa atin. Kasi ganun nalang lagi nangyayari.

Bulok kamo? Malamang at sa malamang bulok nga tayo kasi nga OO, kasama tayo sa sistema. Ang pagkondena at pagrereklamo natin ay maituturing na kasama sa “bulok na sistema” At sino ba ang nagrereklamo at nagkokondena? Tayo. Malamang bulok nga tayo. pero hindi ibig sabihin na wala tayong magagawa para baguhin iyon.

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber Por: May sun ka ba?Text Text tayo :)) hihihi!!!

Sagot: Ay sayang wala eh. Globe ako hehehe.

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber Payb: Are you violent?

Sagot: San bang angulo? hahaha me ganun. Moody lang siguro ako pero hindi naman bayolente. Hindi talaga ako nananakit. Pwede akong magtapon ng bagay tulad ng isang building o iyong kotse mo o kaya iyong tv ninyo sa sala pero hindi ko itatapon iyon papunta sayo. unless request mo hehehe madali akong kausap pagbibigyan kita hahahah. I'll treat you nice and gentle. hehehe. Mwah

Mahiwagang Tanong Number Siks: If you can choose to have superpowers, from these three(flight,strengtnh, speed) which would you choose?

Sagot: Gusto kong lumipad. Pangarap iyong ng halos lahat ng tao. Masarap lumipad at least pwede akong pumunta at umikot sa pilipinas ng libre. Wala akong airfare na babayaran. hahaha :)

Mahiwagang Tanong Number Seben: What is your favorite cologne/body spray?

Sagot: Di ako mapili eh, basta mabango okay na sakin. Pero gamit ko iyong Calvin Klein Eternity for Men tapos ung Cold ng Benetton. Pag lokal naman iyong bench.. basta mabango solb na ko. ;)

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber It: follow your heart or follow your mind?

Sagot: Mas madalas kung ginagamit ang puso. pag inunahan ako ng emosyon wala na hahaha.. Ayokong gamitin ang isip ko baka mabaliw lang ako hahaha..

Mahiwagang Tanong Namber Nayn: When a relationship is bound to end, will you fight for it and stay or will you choose to walk away?

Sagot: Naks, eto na naman ang cheesy -chessy na ha.. lol. Siyempre if its worth saving isasave ko siympre. Love is not all about attraction and magic. naks.. Its more of commitment. Ganito iyon. Attraction lasts for a while pero the thing that makes the relationship to go on is your commitment. If the relationship is worth fighting for and I'm still happy to it, why will i hinder myself from staying?

Mahiwang Tanong Namber Ten: What happens when we die?

Sagot: malamang mabubulok. hehehe parang iyong kuko mo sa paa.hahaha

Sa mga nagtitiyagang nagtatanong, maraming salamas. (nasa Side bar ko lang iyong Formspring Box, type mo lang tanong mo) Sana next time iyong naughty naman hahaha lol siyempre joke lang iyon. Masyado kasing wholesome eh Me Ganun? hehehe.. May Second Batch pa to, kaya ano pang iniintay mo? Tanong na! :))

Ako Naman

2010-11-19T19:27:00.000+08:00


Stop, look and ~~listen~~	think

Alas singko y medya na pala. Isa't kalating oras na lang uwian na. kung hindi ako tumingin sa orasan sa dingding hindi ko alam na konting panahon na lang makakauwi na ako. Sana makauwi na ako .gustong- gusto ko ng umuwi ng boarding house para mahimlay at makatulog sa malambot kong kama.

Buti nalang Biyernes na ngayon. at bukas wala akong pasok. Sarap isipin na may katapusan din ang linggong puro trabaho lang ang inaasikaso ko. Trabaho dito trabaho doon. Usap dito usap doon, punta rito punta doon, hays nakakasawa kaya nga pasalamat ako Sabado na bukas. At simula mamaya makakatulog ako kahit ilang oras ko gustuhin.

Wala ng nakakatulig na reklamo ng mga taong di ko naman kilala..

Hindi na rin ako makikipagplastikan sa mga kustomer na masyadong kupal ang pagmumukha..

Hindi ko na din makikita ang boss ko na laging nagtatanong sa trabaho ko..

Makakatangi narin ako sa mga pakiusap ng ilang kasama.

Bukas, wala na akong pakikisamahan.

Wala na muna akong papansinin.

wala na rin muna akong kikibuin.

Wala.

Ang dalawang araw na pahinga ay sa sarili ko lang gugugulin.

sa pagmumuni muni ng mga bagay bagay na tumatakbo sa aking buhay...

sa pamilya at ang plano nila saking sumunod sa ibang bansa...

sa karerang walang pinagbago sa aking buhay...

Sa uhaw na uhaw kong puso na laging nagpapatanga at laging susugatan..

Sa mga planong kay labo at walang kasiguraduhan...

Sa tiyan kong kumakalam dahil sa pagtapos ng mga deadline na trabaho..

Sa katawan kong sabik na sabik na sa pagtulog at mga panaginip..

at kung paano ko gugugulin ang mga araw na daraan sa pagal kong mundo.

Ang dalawang araw ay para sakin lang...

Sa sarili ko lang..

Oo, ako lang...

At ang masikip na kuwartong bingi sa aking mga hinaing.

Tama ka.

Ako na ang madamot..

Ako na ang makasarili..

Pero gusto kong maging madamot....

Kahit sa dalawang araw lang..:(

sana na naman itigil mo na ang pag-ikot ng mundo.

-Eraserheads; Spolarium

Of Conquering Fears and Killing Monsters

2010-11-17T12:05:00.001+08:00

Writing has always been the cure for my insomnia. Remember those times when I always mentioned about how I've been so insomniac lately in my old posts? Well, the very option for me to kill the time is to write something. No specifics. but most of the time I always write about myself or at least my personal experiences to this personal blog of mine. Guess what? I am awake until now( Its already 4:00 am) Again. and to kill the cat? I am writing.

***********************************************************************

Recently. I've been killing a lot of monsters. Well, I'm saying it figuratively of course. The whole month of October and the first week of this month have been transformed into a full battleground about family and personal issues, relationships, career and sorts. Problems are here and problems are here to stay as they say, and these so called monsters in our life are testings to build us up to be the “warrior” we ought to be. Each monsters shows and insults the weaknesses in us, thus we have two options: to run away and hide from it or to face and kill the monster. Option one of course are for those who have weak hearts and a pessimistic mind.( isa ba ako dun?) But for those who chose to conquer; it is ONE HELL OF A BLOODY FIGHT. Like what I saw in the scenes of Brave Heart and Gladiator.

It is always right to choose the second option. To face the fears , kill the monsters and conquering our weaknesses. but sometimes, we fail to do so. Somehow, there are times when we tend to back out, hide and choose not to fight. But then,these monsters will not go away and will not stop to look for you. They will haunt and hunt you until you give them the fist-fight and the brawling experience they want.

We tend to hide because we feel weak and we feel that we aren't ready to kill those monsters. Sometimes its just feel so right to hide .But we cannot afford to just hide. The point is during these times of being scared(hiatus and in hibernating period)hiding is not always the choice. We have to open our eyes that hiding is also a time to strengthen our hearts and it is a chance to train and practice so that when we encounter another confrontation with these ugly beasts, we are confident and prepared. We are ready to fight.

Though, I am not much a boxing enthusiast, i am so inspired by Manny Pacquiao. He is the best example of a person conquering his fears and monsters. He have gone a long way. He never made his weaknesses and situations to hinder him, instead he used these to put up more perseverance in himself and pushed himself to be determine, to face what he needed to face and to conquer his battles.

Conquering is all but believing in one self even how blurry the situation may seems. That despite of all the uncertainties, you stand up for what you want, what you need and what you believe in.

Conquering is all about using that courage to action in facing those dreaded monsters and believing in yourself that you will triumph in the end despite the hardships from the start.

Winning is not thinking about battle. Its about being in the battle itself and smiling in the end in spite of bruised skin and bloody hands because you have conquered and killed the monster.

-Rico De Buco

soundtrip

2010-11-15T08:38:00.000+08:00

Never been fan of Jericho. But this song really touches my heart.Enjoy nalang.. Jologs na kung jologs hehehe

pagsuyo sa pusong humihikbi

2010-11-11T19:51:00.000+08:00

Sino bang banal? Walang taong banal. Lahat ng tao ay limitado ng kanyang katawang lupa, ng kanyang masamang ugali, ng kanyang pagdurusa at ng kanyang maling paniniwala sa buhay ngayon man, nitong kasalukuyan o sa mga susunod pang mga araw.

Walang taong banal. Walang taong santo. Lahat marungis, lahat may dumi. lahat may bahid kaya nga hindi ako dapat nagmamalinis ngayon at sinisisi sayo lahat ng kasalanan . ni wala akong karapatan na isigaw sa iyong pagkatao ang mga bagay bagay na pinipilit mong kalimutan, mga bagay bagay na pinagsisihan mo sa iyong nakaraan.

Malinis ba ako?! Hindi! Ako na haliparot sa aking nakaraan, alembong sa lahat ng nagkakagusto, at halos tagapatid uhaw sa lahat ng naglalaway. Ako ang pabling sa lahat ng pabling, tinutuka ang mais na lumalapit sa akin. Ako ang lamparang pinaaapoy at sinusunog ang pagnanasa ng madla. Kaya ngayon, habang tayong dalawa'y nagpapaalam pagkatapos ng mainit na diskusyon wala akong karapatan na husgahan ka at maliitin ka. Wala!

Kung tutuusin ako pa ang dapat mong laitin, murahin at duraan dahil ako ang pakawala. Pero bakit bakit di mo iyon magawa.? Sa panahong kung kailan tayo unang nagkakakilanlan ikaw lagi ang umuunawa, ikaw lagi ang nagpaparaya, ikaw ang umiintindi samantalang ako 'y laging panghuhusga at panlalait nalang? Tanga ka ba o sadyang mabait lang. Ewan.

Masakit sakin na masaktan ka. Ayaw ko na masaktan ka lalo pa't ako ang laging nananakit. Sarili kong bibig ang pilit na kumukuwestiyon sa iyo. Hindi ko ito gusto maniwala ka at hindi rin ito madali para sa tulad ko. Ayaw ko na na nauulit ang bangayang tulad nito pero kahit ano pang pigil ko minsan nawawalan din ako ng preno at sa huli'y nasusugatan ka sa mga galaw ko.

Ayaw ko na rin kasing paulit ulit tayong ganito. Parang pusa't aso hindi magkasundo. Nahihiya na ako sa iyo. Napakadakila mo samantalang ako isang masamang tao. Ako lagi ang naguumpisa ng gulo.,.Pinipilit magpakabanal at umaastang banal pero hindi naman kailanman. Ayoko na muli pa kitang saktan. Makabanggit ng masakit na mga paratang at mga walang kuwentang panghuhusga. Gusto kitang mahalin, gusto kitang tanggapin... ng walang pagdadamot.. ng walang pag-iimbot...ng buong-buo at ng walang halong dahilan tulad ng pagmamahal mo sakin na walang kasing dakila at wagas

Sa maniwala ka o hindi, pinipilit kung magbago. Pinipilit kong kalinutan ang nakaraang humulma sa aking mga pananaw at pagkatao. Masakit di n ito at mahirap sakin pero wala akong karapatan na magreklamo. Alam kong punong-puno ka na sa mga litanya ko. Baka nga sabihin mo pa, “hindi lang ikaw ang umiintindi! hindi lang ikaw ang nahihirapan!”

Ramdam ko iyon, ramdam na ramdam ang lahat ng iyong pagtitiis at lahat ng hinagpis .Ginagawa ko lahat mapabuti tayo. Gusto kong ibigay sayo ang lahat at ang kasiyahang hinahanap mo.. na hindi ka nagkamali sa pagpili at pagtanggap sa akin....

Sana di ka mapagod....

Sana di ka tumigil sa paghintay, ...sa pagtitimpi...

Pagod ka na alam ko, pero sana konting subok pa...

Intayin mo ko...

at sabay nating ililok ang ang pangarap hanggang sa ating pagtanda...

Kailangan kita at mahal na mahal...

Manalig ka sana.

Sana..

Ang Tamang Pagpapacute

2010-11-06T15:25:00.000+08:00

Ang pacute na video... Bow!

walang magawa kaya magpapacute nalang..

alam ko naman banas na kayo pag-eemo ko..

hehehehe...

The Jump

2010-11-04T13:04:00.001+08:00

He was always been misunderstood all the years in his life. All he had been was becoming a failure to his parent's eyes, to his clan and to the world. Life has been so cruel to him. the melancholy is overwhelming

People treat him like a dirt bag. a piece of trash in the street. a piece of smelling shit some place they called clean. A nobody.. a loser.. someone who dont deserve to live in a place full of blameless, perfect people, of traditional norms and status quos.

Twenty years of living hell. Twenty years of running from a haunting past. twenty years of non-existence to the eyes of everyone, of their approval and disapprovals.

He was very tired indeed. Against the doctor's advice he pulled another stick of cigarette in its box. Smoking has been his friend all along. All alone. He puffed and from his dry mouth out came a smoke shaped like a doughnut. Like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings. Somehow, besides music, it(smoking) is the only the thing that amazes him.

Hesitance is a sign of uncertainty and weakness.

Smoke. Dreams. His dreams are like smoke- quick to dissappear everytime the wind tosses them. His life was full of uncertainties, his dreams escaped before he can take hold of them. He made another doughnut-shaped figure from the smoke, then he tried to touch it, grab it but like his dreams he always fail to chase so the smoke that he have made.

He stood up and started to walked in the aisles of Makati. dizzy from the smoke, he made his way to his apartment. He was swaying like a bamboo tossed by the strong winds. He was a little tipsy because of the vodka he bought in a convenience store somewhere in Magallanes. He took it like a madman so thirsty of water. in his case, he was thirsty of his parent's approval, frsustrated from the resentments they have for him, of his Dad and Kuya's affection, of his mom's acceptance and concern , of everything he never experienced. He was so left out. He was so alone. He was lonely and he's just on his own.

He still have the half-emptied bottle of vodka. He was cold. It was raining as if the skies were crying for him. His heart was broken and yet he was smiling to the world- he was pretending to be okay and yet he was so broken all along. He took the last drops of liquor and started to head his way home.

Home. The picture of a perfect home for the others is a family bonded and knitted well like forever. For him, his home is himself. No picture of mom nor dad not even his siblings. From the time he walked out from the four corners of his “old home” he found his own definition of the word “family”. Being alone and living with his parents before was singular. There's no difference because all his life his self is the only he ever had.

He kicked the door of his apartment and slammed it back to close it. He threw the vodka to the air and intentionally dropped it in the floor. The sound of the screaming bottle echoed in his ears. He began to sit down to feel the fragments of once whole glass bottle.

Fragmented. It well describes his life. his life was fragments of frustrations, of failures and disapprovals. He lived a life full of deceits and lies of pretensions, of being unloved and rejected. He lived being misjudge and being abuse by frauds. life has purely been a bitch to him like a prostitute who deceived him and gave him some STD's. Life is beautiful and yet dangerous. Its like a cunning bitch and a handful of gonorrhea. Ironic. Life fucked him so hard. He bled. Life for him was living hell but thats not the case now.

He took the cord from the electric fan. He then tied it in a wood from the ceiling. Tonight will be different. Tonight, he will be remembered by many , maybe he will be seen too for first time in the national t.v. and his name be able to make it in the prints. He will gain fame for the first time. bitter Sweet. and he will have his revenge to the world who ignored him for the past 20 years.

He took the cord and tied the other end to his neck. Tonight, he will be free from pain. tonight, everyone will recognize him. starting tonight after he make his jump, he will not be invincible,no not anymore.

Endings are beginnings. Tonight, he will leave his pain, his miseries, his bitter past and the world who abandoned him. After this jump, he will begin another journey, a journey so different from before. He is certain that he will be treated like a precious gem somewhere in the other life; the affection he longed so much, the love he always search for..

And he smiled and and without hesitance he made the jump of his life, his start to a wonderful journey.

The Lady of the Balete Tree( Repost)

2010-11-02T18:10:00.002+08:00

She's standing there in the big Balete tree. Amidst of the vast darkness in an eerie silence,she's crying,pleading for help as she's all alone in the dark.

Busy lights from the vehicles passing by is all that she can see; no help nor mercy or even pity from those drunk drivers in the middle of the night. She's alone, so alone. She's all by herself, feeling the sweet but cold wind.In fact, those crazy drivers obviously avoid her. They even refuse to even see the shadows of that big dark Balete tree; for them it is taboo...it is forbidden..for what lies ahead to the driver that passes the Balete Drive is all but dreaded danger.

She dares to make a move. She appears at the sights of the many. She thinks and hopes that there's someone out there in spite of dim lit hope, a kind-hearted person, a good guy will rescue her from the hellish place she's living in for quite a long time now.

She had stayed beside the Balete Tree after that incident; when she went out to celebrate her birthday with her friends in the flickering lights of the disco. After the non-stop partying,she went home alone for she thought she can think better- thoughts of how she spent her seventeen years of her life in the world. She wores all white,symbolizing and declaring boldly the pureness of her youth. She sported a long hair with curls at the end.Indeed, she was pretty.

She rode a taxi to go home. It was already 12:30 am. She was all but happy unaware of the devilish smile the driver gave..unaware of the terror that awaited her.

A blank stare she gave as the man stopped the taxi. Surprisingly, the man didn't give a damn and started dragging her out of the car. She started to scream and coldness shivered through her nerves. She was in danger and there's no one to help her.

In the serene dark night, a scream escaped from the lips of somebody..too bad nobody had heard..cries from a helpless lady who lost her glory. In the rays of the moonlight, a steel flickered..stabbed hastily..moans of pain uttered from dying lady..crimson blood rapidly escaped from her body as the devil never stopped stabbing her. He left her totally ravished,totally exploited...she was there lying naked in her filthed glory,bathing in her own red crimson..beautiful but lifeless. Too bad..too sad..too hurtful.. The terror enveloped from the back of the Balete tree and the birth of the Lady of the Balete Tree started.

She's standing there in the big Balete tree. Amidst of the vast darkness in an eerie silence,she's crying;pleading for help as she's all alone in the dark.

Tomorrow

2010-11-01T21:32:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow, happiness will here to stay.

para kay teddy bee

2010-10-30T10:52:00.001+08:00

I don't know what to think anymore.
It just days from our monthsary.
After one month of happiness, i never expected that i'll be in so much pain few days after our day.

I never did anything wrong to you..
We did not even have a fight.
so whats this?
Am i being toyed?
Do you intend to make me believe of good and dreamy things?
and then leaving me afterwards?

I love you so much.
I am hurting so much.
Enough with these bargainings...
Enough with your fears..

Lets patch things up please.
I love you forever.

I'll still b wating. in vain or not.
I don't care anymore.
All i know is that I love you.

BROKEN PROMISE

2010-10-29T23:02:00.001+08:00

WAITING IN VAIN HUH? I GUESS I WAITED IN VAIN.

TOYED AGAIN...TAMA.

SAKLAP...

DAMN SHIT DAMN..

ITS ALL GOODBYES AFTER ALL..

SOUNDTRIP NALANG TAYO.

Waiting In Vain(?)

2010-10-29T14:31:00.000+08:00

The night is peaceful without the noise of the horns from the vehicles that once roam at daytime in Kalaw Avenue. The night is screaming silence, strange that is so different from before; few hours when the sun's light faded slowly to give way to darkness. The wind,cool and comforting especially to the ones who have lost hope in their lives. Somehow, its calming and the flickering lights of the metro that somewhat dance in the cold wind in the eyes of those who see it.

From the 8th Floor of the building in this old publication company where i presently working, I see it all. The balut vendor who is roaming around, the passersby, the street people whom finally give up from the day's battle and decided to rest in their cartons. I see them all, above this old building erected 20 years now as my co-employees say.

I looked at the clock, its a quarter before finally it will turn 8:00. I walked towards my assigned cubicle, the table where i was told to stay as i was about to start a new day with this company 5 months ago. I took out my backpack from the cabinet beside my seat and decided to punch my time card for I want to go to Luneta Park.

I went out from the building. I decided not yet to go home. I wanted that when my feet reach my place, and when i decided to lie in my bed ,I'll just fall asleep. Having insomnia til now is little difficult. Last night, i have only 3 hours of rest. I hit the sack at 3am and got out of bed by 6. It is always like this everyday, i got no rest in my heart, in my soul, and in my sleep. It was awful, i know. I feel and i look like a zombie. My oblong-shaped face just got more prominent. My face is becoming thin. got eye-bags and some pimples from this restlessness. The only thing i wanted to change in my body is my beer belly which i think is becoming bigger everyday and not anything else...in my face specifically. I can be considered the living dead. not vampires...oh cmon give me a break im done with Twilight and the last time i appreciated a vampire movie was when Interview With the Vampire been ripped from the paper sheets to the movie cinemas. Zombie is more appropriate. and i like zombies now, must be the habit of playing Plants Vs. zombies that became a reason why i learned to love the brain and flesh eating monsters.

I took a walk in Luneta. As usual, the park was crowded by couples who are enjoying intimacy. Thanks to the lightings, the dark effect of the night that made the park where Rizal's dying bed became an instant place for hook-ups or some quickie or exciting fellatio or breast grasping petting-necking per se. i wonder what will Rizal think if he saw whats happening on the spot he was shot? Angry perhaps?

i went on walking. Somehow, i felt alone. Well, yeah i was alone literally. but you know, the place showed me how alone i was. My Teddy bee is miles apart from me. and the lovers from every corner made me feel that im missing a lot. a lot especially that i am in a long distance relationship. I feel envy that i don't have any assurance when will be the time when my Teddy will come and if that time will ever come. what can i do is to hope and to wait and to endure all the heartaches, all the loneliness and longing I have for my Teddy Bee. All i can do is to hope that everything will be in rightful place in time and to believe that our sacrifices is not in vain.

Tempation Island. Thats another name for Metro Manila , where everything seem to lure you. From the towering buildings to the numerous malls scattered in the city it also tribes pretty and hot women. in my case, hot students. I am living in university belt ,a place where thousands of horny teens and kolehiyalas are out there to unleash the beast in you. I can do anything i want if i wanted too, drink beer and booze out all the sex drives i have in me that became dormant decades ago. To flirt and to search for pleasure is not a difficult thing to do but i chose not to give in to the pleasures of the flesh. I am more than free, Remember we're millions miles apart. I can jump in and enjoy and lying is easy but if i'll ever cross the line things will never be the same for us. Never will be.

I am no conservative and a little wild sometimes but I see the importance of Teddy Bee in my life. Teddy bee changed me. Somehow, im learning to love myself more. Teddy Bee shown me my significance and my existence to a world where everyone seems to know you when they only want something from you. when only they wanted to use you

and dump you after everything has been ravished. Teddy bee is apart from the general status quo. Teddy bee is unique and different expressing her beliefs without no doubt and hesitance. Teddy Bee is my world , my utopia, my shining light in this deepening darkness. So i won't ever and never trade the love we have for a quickie or a cheap thrill with other lady's lap and lose everything afterwards.

I can feel the pressure in my pants, i am no impotent nor numb to feel to thrill. I am saying that I am no exception from the enticement but as long as I'm certain with what I feel and as long as Teddy Bee loves me, I am for her.

I will just believe......

Only believe.........

that in time.....

We will be together....

I have a choice and i hope i won't be waiting in vain in the end. (fingers-crossed)

If you're not the one 2

2010-10-27T07:26:00.000+08:00

Just cant get enough of this song, I was browsing "if you're not the one " videos when I've found this. The heartwarming message exactly works for me and to Teddy Bee plus the acoustic version of this song is a way lot better.Hope you'll enjoy it as much as i do.

Stories on Twenty Sixth of October From a Boy Named Rico

2010-10-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

Reflections

This so far is the most tiring day. For almost five months of working here in this nearly-dying publication, I'm suffocating and dying from the tedious work I am expected to do.

Slowly, my eagerness to be responsible and the enthusiasm to be more competitive is losing greatly but I'm inconsistently fighting it for all-old good time camaraderie sake.

Staying here for the previous months was rewarding. Though I usually deny it, I miss my mom who always has the habit of checking up on me. Even my dad, though whom I am not so close with I still miss. for sometime,working here in this company allowed me to have an instant second family to call my own. But, oh well second families are always meant to be second rate..its not the best.

its almost 7pm now. I lit a cigarette a while ago just to ease the tiredness I'm feeling. I seldom smoke now,i smoke whenever i have the urge. and that urge seldom comes. Smoking is one of the good buddies who is always there for me. Like a buddy who taps at your back when you really feel bad. Just like now. i feel bad. Why? I don't know. There are so many times that i really dont understand myself, times when I feel lonely and down and sometimes really I am just so clueless about whats the reason. funny? Weird? I don't know. I'll just shrug my shoulders.

As I'm watching the smoke gently disappears as it escapes from my mouth, I'm also looking at the vast horizons of the city. The picture of the city during the night is little comforting and a little painful. The cold breeze always bring me back to the glory days when I was still in Baguio, having the best time of my life with people now whom i missed for years. The lights from the building rests my soul from the hurtful and pathetic happenings in my life during the day. Somehow, night reassures me of a great hope for tomorrow or if not tomorrow, it will..on the next day.

I told you a while ago that smoking was one of the best pals I have usually during these moments-pondering thinking,reminiscing. Sometimes. when I dont have the urge to smoke, and I have a guitar with me I sing but in this case now where I don't have guitar, I just expressed the things i want to say through writing.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Acceptance

I started the day right but then sometimes even if u started the day with the most joyful aura and prepared yourself from the daily battle, some unwanted things bugs you in the way and allows you to be conscious of your bad realities.

Past cannot be erase that why they are called past. No super eraser can erase the mistakes and the imperfection of our lives. The good thing is past allows us to be better persons or maybe not. Regrets enters when we don't like what happened in our past. It reminds us that we are not some deities to reconstruct our destined parts.

Today, i am so upset to the past of someone's so important to me. Upset for myself and so sorry that i wasn't there when that situation happened in her life. That i haven't done any thing to prevent it to keep it from coming. I'm so pissed now because I wasn't there for her. And i cannot do anything about it because I arrived late. And i blame myself it.

That situation gave her a mark that i can't erase. even if i wanted too. My heart breaks when I think about it. it reminds me that I am weak and I'm helpless with fate. That I cant do anything about circumstances that was meant to happen.

Still, I slowly embracing that part of her. because just like she said what important is Now. Past is something meant to be buried and the present is something we need to embrace.

I want ice cream. To lick away all the pain.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TO THE BEAR WHO DESERVES A HUG

2010-10-24T13:06:00.000+08:00

"Technology bridges and fills up the gap. It build connections." That's certain. Definitely. And our love story? Its just proves everything.

I was busy with my usual, boring work when our paths finally crossed. Thanks to modern messaging and telecommunications. It was an ordinary day to start with. i was darn pissed of everthing my work involved with when suddenly an unknown personal message from Yahoo Messenger popped out from my monitor.

I was in a hurry that time. I was heading for another strenous field work from my demanding job so I replied with a cold response and yeah, my number.

"JUST TXT ME, 0927_47@#&8!"

The other day, you buzzed me again. Second chance for me baby you say? I'm really glad now it came. I could not remember now how we started our conversation and that if i started apologizing first from my coldness and that you were in a good mood that time but I remember the little chitchat we had that led to exchanging our personal numbers.

Presto! In an instant, we became text mates. Well, thanks to my all-out effort, I've broke your thick wall between us. Honestly, I was not attracted to you at first. No, not at all. No fireworks nor magic not even a spark. My heart just mended from a broken heart that time and I was not really interested in courtship nor opening my heart again to somebody. I wanted to be happy minus the attachments. Well, I was considering open relationships before but for now? Its a BIG NO.

Actually, i just want to be single. To have time for my self. To pamper myself with things i was deprived of when I was committed. Celebrating my singlehood was my greatest goal. Super goal. And meeting acquaintances, a two or three will be a nice idea but never commitment. For a moment, I had phobia with things like attachment, or promising things of forever. Yes, I was sick of it.

But then, you all changed that. Neither you wants to have relationship because of a painful experience from your past. But then fate started its way to creep in our weary hearts. Magic started to happen and fireworks were now really visible and fun to watch. Sparks? a lot. and attraction? Super Attraction.

Exchanging of text messages though both of us were both working. That did not stop us from communicating with each other. Pasaways? haha siguro nga. :) We even talked 'til the wee hours in the morning. topics? Anything under the sun. ( Yey, I want to take this opportunity to thank you for staying with me during my insomniac nights.) We both knew how locquacious we were from the sleepless nights we have spent...together.It was all stating to blossom, our unique love story.

It was all too sudden. I just came from a breakup and you, a commitment phobe. Funny we ended up with each other. And now, I am very thankful how I feel very blessed because you came by surprise. You taught me a lot of things and still you are teaching me more. You taught me to be wise in trusting people, that good and gentle looks are not assurance of a good heart. That it is a must need that I believe in myself first because it is me who can make change in my life and not the other people nor their fictitious opinions in me. I must trust in myself because I know myself better than anyone else.

I love you very much. I am so lucky to have you. You're treating me so special and I'm really really thankful for it. No one treated me the way you do, you see me like i'm a precious gem and that I am special and unique. you taught me to love at my best. Best compared to my previous relationships. You bring out the best in me. i literally gave my all to you and I am not regretting any of it. I won't love this way again, if you'll not be the one for me. I thank you and love you forever.

Thanks to technology and a billion thanks whoever created mobile phones and whoever made the public believe that text messaging is a need. If weren't for you, I would still be lookin for my Teddy Bee...

And to Teddy Bee, if ever you 've discovered my blog and if you are reading this now,

" HAPPY MONTHSARY!!!!!! I LOVE YO FOREVER AND YEAH, C'MON GIVE ME A HUG AND A TORRID KISS!!!!" MUUUUWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH :)

KILLING MELODRAMATIC RICO

2010-10-22T15:57:00.002+08:00

I never wanted to grow up being melodramatic  like this. I'm sick of living life in despair and miseries. Right now, I just wanted to get drunk until everything blacks out.  Do you know the feeling of really trying to get rid something  from yourself? yes, that what i'm feeling now. I wanted to eradicate whatever stench of loneliness or pessimism or negativity in my life. I always wanted to peel of that thick page of melodramas in my life book.

God, i know for so long that you're so drain of reading this same kind of shit stories of what i am writing.Same  dilemnas,same scenes of the sappy telenovelas your lola's and mama's always love to watch. And i know for some of you, are puking it. Guess what??? I'm puking it too!!! Believe it or not !!!! I know you don't want to read or hear another dose of sarcastic rants, and dramas from a guy who's passed from his adolescent stage. All of us have our very own emptiness after all. but whatever I do misery is my best way of how I can communicate with you guys. There are times, when I don't want to post another drama shit for you to read on this blog. But then I can't really help myself...

Maybe loneliness has gotten inside me. Took its way to conquer me. And so he triumphed and I who fought for happiness defeated, facedown with mud soiled in my face. that's what I'm trying torationalize whenever someone asks me why i keep on writing sad stories. I don't know. I don't know ask Genoveva Edroza Matute why she became an idol on writing these kind of mushy stuffs.  Sigh, I really dont know it  myself..

I wanted to quit being dramatic. It just dont do me any good.  I don't want to  die with burdens buried in my heart.I don't want to spoil happy moments just being sad and downcasted. I dont want people to avoid me because I carry the world of negativity. I don't want to be alone, to be darn emotional.I saw myself yesterday through webcam and shit, I didn't really like what I saw. I looked so stressed and old!!!

Lets kill Rico!!! The Dramatic, wasted and sober Rico!!!  The negative, the pessimist the emotional Rico De Buco!!!!Are you in or are you out?

AND IF WE SUCCEED ON THAT, LET'S CELEBRATE AND DRINK LIQUORS 'TIL WE AND OUR GUTS BOOZED OUT!!!!!

Pest(PISSED)

2010-10-19T17:39:00.001+08:00

Heya mga Ka-Buco, maginaw na araw senyo ngayon. Wala lang nagiinarte lang ako. Gusto ko lang maglabas ng tae este ng sama ng loob. Nakakainis kasi eh napipikon ako ngayon. Hungha nakakastress talaga dito sa work, yeah tama ka sa work nga ang problema ko.

Maganda ang gising ko kanina kasi kagabi nag-usap kami ng lovey dovey dabs ko(hehehe) tapos kaninang umaga siya uli ang una kong nakausap. Saan ka pa di ba super recharge ang lolo niyo kasi naman inspayrd.hehehe pero hindi ko alam na ang magandang umaga pala na iyon ay may kaakibat na Putang inang sitwasyon.

Lagi akong maaga sa opisina kasi laging may connection ang internet. Kahit na alas nuwebe ang pasok ko nasa opisina na ako nang mga ala siyete o alas siyete y medya. walang palya iyon. Pero kanina., napamadapaking shet ako kasi walang internet connection. HUWAT!!!!!! Hindi ko na mapanood iyong IMORTAL(hehhee) OH SHOCKS!@!!!! oh NOOO!!!! iyon nalang ang sabi ko. Hindi ko na masisilayan ang dyoga ng aking mahal na si ANGEL LOCSIN! kaya naman naasar na ako ng konti lang naman sa pagkakataong iyon.

Bilang huwaran empleyedo. Hinarap ko ang monitor ng jurassic ko ng computer. In fairness, kahit naman kasing tanda pa ng T-REX itong computer ko matibay pa naamn siya. Kaya iyon tiyagaan lang . Habang patuloy ako sa pagtawag sa mga kupal na subscriber ng aming diyaryo pinipilit kong komonek sa internet pero bwisit wala talaga.

Mga bandang tanghali na ng magkainternet. OMG SAalamas ng marami pero wala ring kuwenta dahil pila balde na ang nakaabang sa computer ni Seph. Ganito kasi iyon. Kahit bawat empelyado may sariling cubicle at computer limitado lang ang may full blast ng internet connection. Itong jurrasic kong desktop puro Google lang ang alam. Minsan nga pati buco Salad nakablock eh. Itong facebook dito hindi gumagana, hindi ata kaya ng specs ng pc ko pati twitter at yahoo messenger. Kaya imaginine ninyo nlang mga Ka Buco. KKasad naman ng buhay ko di ba. NAGPETEKS PA KO, wala din lang.

Tumataas na ang anxiety level ko. AS in 90% na ata out of 100. Mejo hantok na hantok na ko kasi medyo drain na ang utak ko sa inactivity. Then suddenly, medyo najijingle bells ako sa nagpunta ako ng restroom. Tapos bigla tinawag ako, mangongolekta daw ako. HUWAAT!!! iyon kahit na ayoko pong pumunta pumunta po ako kasi trabaho nga. Alam ninyo naman propesyonal tayo.ehehe

wala po kasi mga collector namin. Sa trabaho po namin bilang taga diyaryo dapat flexible ka. Walang pakiyeme kiyeme, walang hiya hiya. Kaya kahit hindi ako collector ayon since flexible ako dahil isa akong contortionist ayon nagpunta ako ng Makati. Ayos lang nman kasi Makati lang, lagi naman kasi akong pumupunta ng Makati. Pero naiinis ako kasi umuulan, mahirap kasi pag ganun maputik, at mababasa ako. MAARTE MUCH? hindi NAMUch. kaw kaya magpaulan sa labas at maputikan?

NagLRT ako. Tumataas na ang anxiety level ko dis time, 92% na. Akalain mo iyon namemeasure ko? hehehe Ayon bakit tumaas? kasi siksikan sa LRT. PUKING INA Talaga.Wala bang alam mga kbabayan natin kondi magmilagro? Langya, para na kaming sardinas sa LRT. And so iyon ibang nakikisiksikan pa amoy patay na daga ang liki liki ....Sabi ko nga, God why are you torturing me like this? Im such a good boy naman di ba.

Anxiety Check: 95%

Nakaalis ako sa loob ng LRT na siksikan at amoy patay na daga. Umuulan. Wala akong payong. Sori naman hindi ako BSP(Banana Saging Ponte kung taga Pangasinan ka alam mo ito). Nagtanong tanong ako sa mga tao dun sa Gil Puyat kong saan iyong place na hinahanap ko.

Ganito iyong usapan....
ako: mama, san po iyong tutut?
Mama: ah iyong anu? sa anu iyon sa kuwan?
Ako: ah ganun? anu sasakyan papunta dun sa tutut?
Mama: di ko know? sori naman
Ako: SHit U!!!! with matching dirty finger.

Malas talaga. As in badtrip na badtrip na ako. I was cursing every people who was blocking my way. At hindi iyon sa isip lang. Whisper pero medyo malakas din. Ang sabi ko pa nga, PUTANG INA KAYO WAG ninyong HAHARANGAN ANG DAAN. MAMATAY NA KAYo!!! WArfreak much? hindi naman. Ganyan lang ako pag sobrang tumataas ang anxiety ko.

Alam ninyo ba, muntik na akong madukutan. Pero buti nalang ang bait ni Lord sakin. Mabuti biniyayaan ako ng super lakas na spider sense. Kaya nadetect ko na bnbksan ang aking backpak!
Hindi ako biniyayaan ng ninjutsu skills o kaya special attack ni Lord kaya hindi na ako naghamon pa ng laban if you're asking kung anu ginawa ko sa kawawang isnatser. Mga ilang sandali pa, nagulat ako kasi ngkaroon ng habulan sa tulay ng Gil puyat at nahuli ang isnatser na nagbabalak ng masama sa bag ko.
Karma's really fast. Tumaas na nman ang anxiety ko. Anxiety Check: 96%

Shitness. 4% nalang Full Blown Super Saiyan na ko at iyon ang ikinakatakot ko. Baka kasi manggulo na ako anytime. Pag galit kasi ako galit talaga bahala na hindi ko kayang ikontrol iyon. At hindi ako mabait pag nangyari iyon. Namumuti na ang mata ko sa kakahanap ng 351 BLDG na iyon. Tanong ako ng tanong sa panget na drayber kong san iyong place orgy ng mga mummies na napanaginipan ko kagabi. Kelangan kong makasingil kasi kung hindi wala kaming sahod pag SUWELDAY.

Mga 1kilometre ata ang nilakad ko makita ko lang iyon lugar. Siympre joke lang. Pero ang hindi joke nabasa talaga ako ng ulan.Mga 98% na ang nareach ng anxiety ko nang mga panahon iyon. Asar na asar na tlaga ako. I was thinking of really resigning kasi naiinis na ako sa madapaking tape na trabaho ko. And so, nakasingil ako.

Hindi na ako umimik nung dumating ako ng opisina. Naulit lang kasi ang mga eksena nung pabalik na ko ng opisina. Tipong nirewind lang except iyon isnatcher part. Naka over project na ako ng aking nakasimangot na angelic face( naduduwal ka? sige kainin mo nlng walang lababo) at sympre alam na ng mga ofismates ko na naiinis ako. Makuha ka sa tingin ika nga.

Tuloy tuloy ako sa computer, at diretsong tumipa ng mga letra sa keyboard. Mabuti nalang at may shock absorber ako mabuti nalang may computer at buti nalang may internet na. Ayan tapos na ang artikulong ito salamat sa pagbabasa.

Oo nga pala. Anxiety Check: 0% Normal. Pesti? wala na. over over

WARNING

2010-10-14T19:34:00.000+08:00

there are some things in life actually major things in life that's really uncertain. The future itself is uncertain. Things come and go..people come,stay and in the end betray you. Life is not constant. The world too and neither people can stay all the same.

Expectations kills us. So to avoid yourself from self-destruction DON'T EXPECT. Its more than just the CAPS. Being cautious is being intelligent, being intelligent means being safe. By putting expectations to someone means giving that somebody to put some bomb to your heart. It happens every time you know.

Not expecting doesn't mean cowardness. It means your just being careful from people who'll someday hurt you or your just lessening the burden, the effect when the trigger from the bomb will finally fall. and that's when you will realize and be awake from the sweet dreams you are having after the destruction bomb of reality will take place.

And yes, P.S.: This is not to scare you.

The Sneezy,Slimy Experience

2010-10-14T15:54:00.001+08:00

ACHOO!!!!

Sneezy. Iyon ang tamang word para sa nararamdaman ko ngaun. Hindi na mabilang kung ilang beses na akong nabahing sa opisina, sa jeep, sa kuwarto, sa comfort room at iba pa.

Iniisip ko allergy? pero malabo iyon alam kong may allergy ang angkan namin pero hindi nman siya nagmamanifest bilang rhinitis. Tama tama, mas maniniwala akong may allergy ako kung may pantal pantal ako sa katawan which is wala. Meron naman pero pantal lang ng mga nakaraang maiinit na gabi CHIKININI? hehehe islayt lang hahah siyempre hindi virgin pa kaya ako hahaha lol.

Nagsimula akong hatchingin pagkatapos kong makipagkita sa EB nung sunday courtesy ng Artistahing si Xprosaic(tol, pasalubong pagbalik mo ha) at mula noong dumating ako sa boarding house ay nagtuloy-tuloy na.

EB Moments(L-R: Rico, Xprosaic,Anna, KumagCow,Glentot,Oliver at Jag)

Masaya nmang magkaroon ng sipon. (dahil natuluyan ang paghahatching ko) pero siyempre minsan hindi din masaya. Naging concern kasi mga kaopisina ko sakin well, sa totoo iyon iba lang dahul napansin nila na wala sa magandang kondisyon ang kanilang Rico de Buco. Partida sakin yun kasi pati landlady ko na may pagkaisnabera ay tila lumambot ang puso. Kaya masaya narin kahit papano. Sa buong pagstay ko rito sa Manila sariling sikap ( hindi Mariang Palad ha) lang ang lahat. Wala kasi akong kasama sa bahay kaya mismong pagbili ng gamot ay sa sarili ko pang katawan iaasa.

Medyo nakakapagtrip din ako kasi jinojoke ko iyong mga katrabaho ko na papahiran ko sila ng sipon na condensada pag naging bad kids sila sakin. HeHeHe takot na takot sila na kasi ayaw nilang mapahiran ng kulay greenish yellow na uhog na minsan may bula bula pa.(EWW..KADERDER). Imaginine mo nala\ang iyon..kulay palang ulam na.. tignan natin kong di ka mattakot pag pinahid ko na iyon sa iyo.

Ayos na sana iyong trip kaso mahirap talaga magtrabaho pag may sipon. Bakweet? kasi naman hindi ako makapagsalita ng maayos.singhot dito signhot doon baka nga masinghot ko na lahat dito eh pati iyong mga kaopisina ko kasi medyo malaki din ang butas ng ilong ko hehehe. Isa pa pg grabe ang sipon mo halos everyday gusto mo suminga yakee tlaga pag nasa jip ako kasi alam mo iyong kakasinga ko pa lang sa bahay tapos pagkasakay ko uli ng jip puno na naman iyong ilong ko.as in walang katapusan hahhaa kaya dyahe tlga.

sana nga gumaling na ako.nakailang lunok na ko ng mga gamot eh. naglalasang gamot na nga panlasa ko kaya sana gumaling na ko.Pero sana before akong gumaling wish ko na may mapahiran ako ng sipon ko o kapag mejo tuyo tuyo na iyong sipon ko na parang kulangot na sana may mabiktima ako hehhe nanakakasawa na kasing puro ilalim ng table at mga upuan iyong dinidikitan ko ng kulangot eh sna next time tao naman herhehe enjoy iyon for sure!!!

Kahit na walang kuwenta tong post na ito may narealize ako, sa mga panahong parang nireregla ang panahon at hindi mo maintindihan kung uulan o aaraw ba kelangan mong maging handa. Kailangan nating maging handa magvitamins o kaya magpayong dahil sa panahon ngayon BAWALA ~~MAGKAKASIT~~ MAGKASAKIT!!!!! TOOOMOOO!!!

Kanta Para kay Bebe

2010-10-11T17:24:00.002+08:00

if you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

if you are not mine would i have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings

But i know you're here with me now

We'll make it through

And i hope you are the one i share my life with

I don't wanna runaway but i can't take it I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me thatI am

Is there any way that i can stay in your arms?

If i dont need you then why am i crying on my bed?

If i don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you're not for me then why does distance maim my life?

If you're not for me then why do i dream of as my wife?

i dont know life so far away

But i know that its just a trip

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you cold be the one die with

And Im praying you're the one I've build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna runaway but i can't take it I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me thatI am

Is there any way that i can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

Cause I love you, whether its wrong or right

And though I cna't be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I don't wanna runaway but i can't take it I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me thatI am

Is there any way that i can stay in your arms?

Sleepless Night

2010-10-06T12:52:00.001+08:00

I slept last night around three in the morning. My insomnia is getting worse. I was reading Zafra's Twisted 7 when my stomach told me that it wanted something edible to digest. As I was lying in my bed, listening to the rats roaming around that were co-inhabitants of my blue colored room i decided to stand up and look for a convenience store to fill in my stomach's request.

I went out after locking my door. I tiptoed in the stairway aware that it is already morning. The cold breeze of BER months embraced me. Suddenly, I remembered my family. It will be the first Christmas I'll be celebrating Jesus' Birthday alone. My mom and dad went last June to U.S to join my sister after being petitioned. My brother who has started his own family had long forgotten Christmas, the day he became a convert of INC or Iglesia ni Cristo. My sis who was really upset about her ex- boyfriend who was a member of INC converted her faith to INC (sort of defense mechanism to cope up with their break-up)and my parents who went to America this year found themselves converted unvoluntarily- my sis forcely converted them (hahaha) to be save from the so-called Apocalypse (End of the World). If ever will see each other again, it will be completely different. Why? I conclude that I'll be the only one that will celebrate Christmas because their fuck-up religion prevents them from doing it anyway.

And so i went out. My feet led me to a 24/7 grocery slash bakery. Like the other previous nights, I ordered hot pan de sal and instant canton to appease my hunger. After eating, I strolled around the streets enojoyed the quietness it offered, so different from daytime when vehicles roamed around it and the streets were so noisy and the people annoying. I suddenly felt the urge to go back to my four-cornered blue colored comfort zone- my room. Somehow, having insomnia does'nt feel bad after all. It gave me to think of things that's happening in my life. My life that had started to adapt the so called fast-pace life of the Metro. Being the busy kid that I was, i had no time to absorb and reflect from the everyday adventures of life; nowadays, leisure and time is extravagance to have and during like this insomnia night is where i can have the chance to savor my freedom.

I went to Manila to get the freedom I wanted from my demanding and over- possessive parents. I gained freedom but not to long I was again chained by the responsibilities of work, debts,commitment and et cetera et cetera. I guess, there's no freedom nowadays eh? I went back and laid again from my screech unproof bed. I was more than awake then. My senses were so alive in absorbing all sorts of stimulus, my brain doubled its activity and functioning from interpreting the euphoria its getting.

I looked for Iterax, an anti-pruritus drug and at the same time a drug catered to individuals like me who usually become vampires at night. Nocturnal Species who don't sleep and are sailors of darkness.It has a sedating effect.

Eventually after taking the pill,I slowly dosed off.My eyes became heavy and my mind blurred and numb from the vividness of my environment. Somehow i managed to whisper, "Welcome to Lala Land."

And so for a long time, I've meet Sleep again. Hope will never part ways. But I thought, that's dangerous and so i cursed myself (hahhaha)from wishing that thing out.